simple thoughts

We just turned one year with my baby last Aug. 22, 2006 and I wasn't able to write in my blog because I had a lot of things to do but our celebration was great.

To my baby:


"Everyday I'm thankful I have you in my life. There's nothing I wish more that being with you everyday waking ours of it. I don't want to live in regrets. I am loving you with all that I am"

Baby we've been through a lot of sacrifes and I'm happy that during those dull moments, during those days that I was about to quit you were there to push me (ayan tuloy nahulog me tinulak mo kasi ako nasubsub nguso ko) to move on, to realize how beautiful life is.

Baby I love you more that words can say. I miss you when we're together how much more when we're apart. To live without you is not a beautiful life at all because you're the one that makes my life beautiful... Love you very much baby....

I want to tell you this. " I love you since I met you and thank you for being the person I love and be loved"

From the very beginning, I'm always afraid of the word Goodbye, It scares me to think that someone will leave me alone. I don't wanna be alone! I don't want to relive the things i did in the past because what happend in the past was traumatized me. It really hurts when someone tells
you goodbye, its like its breaking my heart into pieces and its the horrible word for me.

But I realized that Goodbye is not always sad and painful one, sometime one has to say goodbye in order to let things happend well, that we have to accept the two persons are not really meant for each other not just in lovers but in friends also.

After our separate ways with my best friend Nickel, it took me years to think why he let this things happend that we have to stop communicating each other, that we have to forget things and leave memories as it is, that we have to forget each other. Damn... How can you forget someone who makes you smile, He is like a brother to me, more than that!

Can you imagine for how many years we've been together and in just a click of a hand I lost Him its because of He found some new friends, some bunch of idiot person.. sorry for the word idiot but i think thats the best word to describe them because they took nickel in my life, I'm just trying to figure out why he leave me, I just want to know the reason.. just one very good reason nickel...

Why nickel? Am I a person with AIdS? Am I a person with Horrible face? Does it has to do with the status of your family,I'm just a poor owen that i don't have a penny in my pocket and you are the rich guy in davao... We were good friends.. why... why... why nickel?

You know what... I want to say this to you that I'm angry with you! Are you ashamed of me? You're not aware of my thoughts, my needs.. How could you do this to me? I didn't do something wrong with you. and tell me that We're Through!!! that i don't even exist in you!

If you only knew I cried so many tears, that i can't sleep well, but those were the days nickel. and I thank you for making me a strong person.. I will never forget you.

I thank you for time you spent to me, you will always be a special part of me. I'm doing great now and I'm happy with my life. I wish you happiness, I miss you friend and I love you just as well...

Take my hand, come away with me
and i'll take you away from all this.
We will runaway together my friends
for there is nothing here to miss.
In this world where everything seems uncertain
i know what your are thinking.
I know your every urge.
The innocence I see in you will disappear As the day fade..
So look into my eyes
and see that everything will be alright.
when it rains, when you are down,
when its cold,
when it seems I'm not around,
just remember I love you...

I've talked to some of my friends chit-chat and asking about their life and everyone was excited to share their ups and downs. Some of them were too tired of being alone fighting against obstacle in life, but some were lucky enough to have someone beside during dull moments.

You know what.. Some people makes us happy by doing some special thing, but special someone makes us happy without doing a special thing. I realize that true happiness can only be felt if we're with a special someone. Even me I'm not happy with out my baby (mawala na ang lahat wag lng baby ko).

I remember my best friend when were having a quite time "I ask her; What makes you happy?" she paused and stared at me "she said; I don't know.. I'm not happy with my life, i don't believe that happiness exist in this world maybe in fairytale does". Simple question actually.. "What makes you happy" that needs a definite answer...

what makes you happy? tell me i need to know.. because the only thing that makes me happy is YOU. so please don't you ever leave me, keep visiting my blog.

Lately, I've been working so hard for myself and realized that I'm just starting to miss someone again, anyway she's not in manila and i guess i should be feeling that way at all. we talked over the phone the other night and she sounded indifferent, I could not blame her, its my fault why we broke-up before. I'm upset

Damn.. I'm such a dork... I should not let her go.. I should not afraid. i miss you and i tell you i can feel it.. I'm afraid that i might be hurting myself I know i am, but there's nothing i can do, I wanna be loved. badly i need to be loved i'm upset, i miss you so much, If you're reading this, i just want yopu to know i miss you so much and i'm sorry for what i've done before that i was not strong enough to fight for our love.

Now that you're gone a part of you will never ever leave... our memories will always be a hopping whisper in my mind. I wish love and never ending happiness.. wherever you are...