simple thoughts

missing you

2012-01-06T02:00:00.008+09:00

I've learned...

that the people you care about most
in life are taken from you too soon.

and I've learned also that one day
you will see them again and bring back
the smile in your face.

and Because of you... I laugh a little harder,
cry a little less,

and smile a little more. :)

2011-12-19T14:38:00.003+09:00

I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't. :(

I wonder why do people fall out of love?

2011-06-23T00:53:00.004+09:00

Paulit- ulit na tanong ko sa sarili ko.. Sa umpisa parang ang tamis ng mga binibigkas mong pangako, at sa huli kaw lang ang kawawa.

Kesyo kelangan mo ng space, I need to find myself.. ano ba talaga bakit ang daming lumalabas na rason para lang malet-go mo yong isang tao.

Bakit ba ganun..

sabi nga sa isang kanta "I'd rather leave while I'm in love".

hay pag-ibig nga naman talaga bakit pa napauso, kahit wala sa trend anjan pa rin..

Basta para sa akin tama na yong minahal ko kita at kahit papano minahal mo rin ako kahit sandali man lang..

Missing the Bridge

2011-05-27T01:54:00.003+09:00

I just can't stop thinking of you, can't imagine we parted our ways for no reason at all.. Why do i feel loneliness inside me, why do I care so much about you, I can not have feelings for you, I can not love you, But why I'm always thinking of you every minute, every seconds of the day..

I hate this.. I don't wanna live in pretensions, I can no longer hold this feelings..

Bakit ba ganito, bakit ba ako nasasaktan, napagkasunduan naman natin na FRIENDS lang tayo, kahit ganun bakit nag iba ang takbo ng buhay natin, I haven't heard anything from you, you totally forget all about me, I haven't receive any text from you..

I tried not to text you because I want you to miss me like I do, pero wala eh, It's been two weeks pero di pa rin kita nararamdaman, tinuluyan mo na ata akong kalimutan.

Napaka-unfair mo naman kala ko ba kasama kita sa paglakbay ng buhay ko, akala ko ba na you're always there for me, nasan na yong mga pangako mo?

I remember when you told me "Always remeber that I love you so much" gagohan ba to?

Hindi ko naman hiningi sau na maging tayo kasi alam naman natin di tayo pwede, kala ko we can be good friends, pero nasaan ka? nandyan ka nga pero di naman kita maramdaman, binaliwala mo ako.. I wish I could tell you na nasasaktan ako, gusto ko umiyak pero para saan? Gusto ko sabihin sayo na nasasaktan ako pero di ko masabi.

Sana dumating ang araw na ikaw naman ang maghabol sa akin, maramdaman mo kung gano kasakit pag binaliwala ka, sana makita kitang umiyak dahil sa akin..

a day to remember

2011-01-17T23:48:00.002+09:00

It's the Lover

2010-10-31T20:27:00.000+09:00

He broke your heart and said goodbye
After promising forever
You wonder why you even tried
he was such a good pretender

The love you gave was all in vain
and nothing anyone can say
could ever make you love that way again

It's the lover not the love
who broke your heart last night
It's the lover not the dream
that didn't work out right
if you listen to your heart
you'll know it's true
It's the lover not the love
who deserted you

Don't stop reachin' for the stars
Let tomorrow live inside you
And just remember who you are
Keep the faith and love will find you

A heart in love can lose it's true
Don't give up in time to find
the one who's right will come to you

It does no good to second guess
whether love is wrong or right
If it was really meant to be
he'd be with you tonight

tired

2010-08-28T22:47:00.002+09:00

all I want to do is to spend time with you, but then again something always get in my way, it seems that life treated me so unfair, i could not even get in touch with you.. I'm having hard time fixing things, change it to a better one.

I'm tired trying to change something, something that I could divert my attention so I would not have to worried about myself thinking of you, something that i would tell to myself that i have completely forgotten you..

magagawa mo kaya ito?

2010-08-26T03:44:00.004+09:00

What do you think about these pictures?

miss you like crazy

2010-06-16T23:17:00.003+09:00

Even though its been so long,

my love for you keeps going strong

I remember the things that we used to do,

a kiss in the rain Til' the sun shined through,

I'd try to deny it, but I'm still in love with you

I miss you like crazy,

ever since you went away

Every hour of every day,

I miss you like crazy,

I miss you like crazy

No matter what I say or do,

there's just no getting over you

I can see the love shining in your eyes,

and it comes as such a sweet surprise

If seeing's believing its worth the wait,

so hold me and tell me its not too late

We're so good together,

we're starting forever now,

Just one night

and we'll have that magic feeling like we used to do

Hold on tight

and whatever comes our way

we're gonna make it through

If seeing's believing its worth the wait,

so hold me and tell me its not too late

We're so good together,

we're starting forever now

And I miss you like crazy,

I miss you like crazy

No matter what I say or do there's just no getting over you

And I miss you (baby), I miss you (baby),

all the tender love you gave me

When a feeling gets this strong,

you know the real thing come along

And I miss you,

I miss you like crazy baby,

only (you're) should be "your" sweet love Can save me,

I miss you like crazy,

a love like ours will never end

Just touch me and we're there again,

I miss you like crazy,

I miss you like crazy

Sana kung alam ko lang na aalis ka, sana sinabi ko yong bagay bagay na gusto kong sabihin, sana nayakap kita, sana nagkaroon tayo ng time to talk about some things. sana...

Hindi ko alam pero na miss kita ng sobrang sobra, mga ngiti mo, tawa natin,yakap mo dami kong na miss, sana mabigyan pa tayo ng isa pang pagkakataon na magsama ulit.

Ingat ka lagi kong san ka man ngayon, alam ko masaya ka.. I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY.

sana...

2010-06-09T12:49:00.003+09:00

Bakit nga ba ganito, you suddenly fall inlove sa isang tao kanina mo lang nakita, halos gabi gabi iniisip mo sya, araw araw umaasa na makakasama mo sya, ang hirap mabuhay sa mga patagong pag-asa na alam mong hindi kailan man magkatotoo pero pilit ka paring umaasa na sana kahit minsan magbago ang ihip ng hangin.

Gulong gulo ang isip ko, alam ko ni minsan hindi pa kami nag kasama pero natatakot ako kasi alam ko paalis ka na, hindi ko alam bakit na lang ganun ka laki ang takot ko na hindi na kita makikita, bakit ganun, bakit ngyayari tong mga bagay na ganito, ito ba ang tawag na Love at first sight? o dahil hinahayaan kong magkaganito ako.

Ano ba gagawin ko para maramdamam mo rin ang nararamdaman ko, bakit nagkaganito, napaka-unfair naman yata, one sided lang, pinapahirapan ako ng labis labis.

sana gusto ko maging bato na lang ang puso ko, para di ko alam pano masaktan, lalo na ang alam ko ay aalis ka na, sana masabi ko sayo kung gano kita kamahal..

you don't miss me...

2010-06-03T22:27:00.003+09:00

"Im guessing
all you ever told was lies.
Im guessing
you enjoyed watching me cry.
Im guessing
you knew I really wasn't strong.

All you ever wanted,
was to watch me fall.."

I hate you but my heart says

I MISS YOU...

smart people.. yahhh

2010-05-19T10:36:00.005+09:00

What would you feel when talking to a "smart people"?

To be perfectly honest with you, I feel STUPID, because you make me feel like I'm STUPID that I do not know anything in this world.

at first i used to like you, coz i will learn from you, i was amazed like fcuk!! why this guy talk so brilliant, I wanna be like you, but at the end of the day i realize the way you talked to me you made me STUPID and i hate you..

yes I hate you like I wish I could tell you this.. I hate YOU.. yes YOU...

hahaha bitter lang siguro ako kasi I don't speak like them, think like them..

Peace out..

You freak the Hell out of me.... I always wanted to be like someone who could speak and write fluently just like you but hey not the way or the words your using...

What's your plan?

2010-05-14T20:13:00.004+09:00

A goal without a plan is just a wish. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Enrico – He’s cool, witty and intelligent, simply Smart, Simply amazing. This guy threw a question to me during training that made me pause and think after the end of the day,even right now while writing these stuff.

He asked me “What’s your plan?” I told him to become TL.

But the big question there was;

What have you been doing for the past years to achieve your goal? WOW!@#$

I’m a kind of person always looking at the big picture, this is what I want to be, but I haven’t done anything to get to my way there. I’m just there looking I’m not zooming the big picture for me to be able see the details. It’s simply upset me because time is fleeting.

I’m 28 but look at me nothing has changed, I’m still me.

I realized that you need to have plan; a life plan and I deemed it necessary. You should know where and who you want to be by following your plan, you need to know so you may not end up wasting your time.

You have to be very focus in doing and achieving your plans otherwise the effort and attention that you spent will just spread too thin and achieve nothing. See the patterns like looking back in the past it will help you find out where you should go, connect them all and project them into the future.

You have to be more persistent in each and every day of our life, because failure is inevitable in our way; you have to keep pushing yourself forward and have faith.

I once was lost so thank you Enrico for reminding me again, I almost forgot who I wanted to be.

I will start now.

still miss you

2010-05-12T15:56:00.002+09:00

our house feels cold and empty...
six years after your death,
I still find myself looking across our backyard
as though expecting to see you there.
Tears fall down voluntarily.

Occasionally,
questioning the voices I heard
coming from you room
where you used to stay and sleep.

Still somehow hoping that it is not true,
but that you are still with us.
Still hear to help us,
still here to share a laugh,
and most of all be a Father to us.

still hurts dad,
I still miss you.

I love you dad...

contented

2010-04-24T11:51:00.002+09:00

I am no special,
just a common man with a common thoughts
there are no monuments dedicated to me,
and my name will soon be forgotten.
But in one respect
I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone
who ever lived.
I've Loved another with all my heart and soul
and for me
that has always been
ENOUGH

thoughts for the day

2010-03-26T17:00:00.003+09:00

Yesterday is HISTORY

Tomorrow is MYSTERY.

Today is a GIFT.

That's why it's called PRESENT

sarap maligo

2010-03-01T12:52:00.004+09:00

when i die

2010-02-21T14:11:00.002+09:00

when i die.. toss my ashes into the wind, let my spirit go, for this is the only chance to live my life free from trouble and problem. I won't let go of the love I Have for you, i'll keep it wherever i'll go, I will cry for I will no longer touch you, breathe you and most of all feel the warmth of your embrace.
when i die.. never give up on your life, i will still here watching you, love you and guide you. but I know time will come when you need someone, someone that makes fill the emptiness that i've cause, I will soon cry for i will no longer feel the your love anymore.

let me tell you this, I love you... words are not enough to express the love i feel for you, I love you

Amazing...

2010-01-30T02:10:00.002+09:00

stare at the 4 dots in the center of the image between the two hearts shaped thing for 30-40 mins.. then stare at the wall near you, anything that is flat surface while blinking your eyes.. you will be surprise...

Napakasakit, sobrang sakit

2010-01-19T23:27:00.002+09:00

minahal kita kahit alam ko na may mahal kang iba,
kahit na binaliwala mo ako,
patuloy pa rin kitang mamahalin
patuloy pa rin akong umaasa na balang araw
mararamdaman mo ang nararamdaman ko

patuloy pa rin akong naghihintay
sa bawat araw na nagdaan luha at hinagpis ang kasama
sa gabi tanging sarili lang ang kayakap
umaasa na darating ang araw yayakapin mo rin ako

napakasakit, napakasakit, napakasakit
sobrang sakit lalo't na umiibig ka ng tapat,
sa mga patagong pag-asa na babalikan mo ako
habang hinihintay ang araw na matanggap na wala na talagang pag asa.

(no matter how much you care, some people just don't care back)

very interesting...

2010-01-15T11:27:00.004+09:00

Take a look at the picture first

then tell me.. what did you see?

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T19:38:00.002+09:00

God Bless You Guys and your family..
Happy New Year..

Welcome year 2010

a new life, new hope and new beginning

it's Christmas

2009-12-24T23:46:00.003+09:00

I don't know why I'm writing this one,
but this one thing I know for sure,
I'm lonely I don't even feel the spirit of Christmas,
for me it's just an ordinary occasion
that doesn't really needs you to exert an effort to celebrate.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way..
di ko magawang ma-enjoy.
there's something missing,
something that I need to find to fill the emptiness in my heart,
I'd rather stay in my room, lie down, sound trip
than doing the traditional thing.

I need to know that something!!!

and that something really bothered me a lot,

the reason why I can't enjoy christmas,

and the reason that I can't find happiness.

sad to say it's Christmas and I'm thinking this thing.

Pasko na naman

2009-12-12T19:32:00.002+09:00

thank you so much fiel for this award...

Dati ko ng sinabi sa mga previous post ko, isa sa pinakaayaw ko na okasyon at pinakaaantay ko ay ang pasko, Hindi ko alam why I always feel empty everytime pag christmas na, alam mo yong feeling na naiiyak ka tapos pinipigaln mo, masakit sa dibdib pag hindi mo mailabas ang nararamdaman mo.

hindi ko alam kung bakit, lalo't ngayon my mom was actually away from us, we will be celebrating christmas na wala mama.. omg first time ko first time namin, hindi ko maiwasang maiyak habang sinusulat ko ito iniisip ko na agad ang mga mangyayari, sobrang na miss ko na si mama,

bakit ba ako nagkakaganito, siguro iniisip ko lang, siguro masyado lang akong negative..

hayyy..

sad..

2009-12-11T12:00:00.002+09:00

umiiyak ako..

di ko masabi sa inyo ang dahilan

pero umiiyak ako kahapon pa..

they need justice...

2009-12-02T18:03:00.006+09:00

they need our help guys..

let's pary for them guys... they need justice...

excited

2009-11-29T19:53:00.003+09:00

this pic taken last oct 18 this yr sa surigao lipata, bumisita kami kasi open hauz, kasi once in awhile lang sila nagpapavisit, actually birthday ko tong araw na to di lang ako naka pab blog kasi tinatamad..

bro and mama

bro and onli gurl namin

from left: bunso, ako, jojo and malvin

family pic

Buzz!! i was surprise my couzn buzz me, its been awhile since we haven't talk, buti na lang kanina natsambahan nag online ako, at nag online din sila..

she was excited to see me kasi nalaman nya sa sister ko na uuwi na ako by december, shes invited me na dun sa kanila mag christmas, sabi sure... lalo na tuloy akong na excite finally ma meet ko na sila lahat kasi the last time na nakapunta me sa surigao bislig it was like i was highskul i think 1995. tagal na nun..

of course i texted my brothers and sister kung papayag sila, pumayag naman sila.. so lahat kami magkakapatid sa surigao kami mag christmas,

first time namin mag celebrate na kami kami lang, wala si mama, kaso may problema yong kuya ko kaka recognized lang nila as PO1 so continue pa rin training nila. he told me kung ganun ok lang pero ang hindi nya alam kung kelan siya makapag break.

hinati pala sila sa dalawang team ang unang team makakauwi makapagchristmas sa mga pamilya nila, ang pangalawang team sa new year na makakauwi sa kanilang pamilya.

sabi ko sa brother ko ok lang yon at least isa sa mga importanting araw magkasama tayo. pero mas maganda pag sa newyear ka makakauwi yon ang importante.

lately na realize ko yong closeness namin ng kapatid ko, hindi kasi kami ganun ka close siguro bumabawi lang sya kasi for 4 years na wala syang work sa akin sya humihingi ng tulong, pero now parang sobrang ok na kami, naiilang din ako kasi tol tawag nya sa akin di ako sanay, hehehehe tapos di ako nagkukuya i call him by name lang.

im looking forward na magkakasama kami sa christmas excited na ako...

missing you

2009-11-27T20:06:00.003+09:00

Nakachat ko si mama kahapon, first time namin mag chat since she left for japan, napaluha ako, I wanted to tell her how i miss her kaso lang nahihiya ako..

Hindi kasi ako ganun ka open kay mama, I never really talk to her about my feelings, Uuwi na nga ako sa amin kaso hindi naman kami mag kasama sa christmas and new year.

Hayyy

Just always take care of yourself ma.. miss you and i love you so much

and i love you so

2009-11-24T14:23:00.002+09:00

and i love you so
the people ask me how
how i've live till now
i tell them i don't know

i guess they understand
how lonely life has been
but life began again
the day you took my hand

and yes i know how lonely(loveless) life can be
the shadows follow me
and the night wont set me free
but i don't let the evening get(bring) me down
now that your around me

and you love me too
your thoughts are just for me
you set my spirit free
i'm happy that you do

the book of life is brief
and once the page is read
all but love is dead
that is my belief

Art of letting go

2009-11-23T11:08:00.008+09:00

I really appreciate those times that we've shared together. Since i've got you, I realize to myself how important you are to me in my daily life because I miss all the cherish moments we used to do when your still with me, even for just a few weeks.

There was a time that I enjoy being by myself but theirs still a missing pieces a part in me that no one can ever replace in that position & it's only "you".

if I've been given a chance to change to live again and then I would choose you, i would choose you to be with me for the rest of my life,

Im here to love you & and to be loved by you.
there haven't times that i think of the precious times that we shared.

I remember one day i called you up, after the birthday party, i was gonna invite you to watch a movie "New Moon" and have dinner in Good earth, I was fucking excited to see and and be with you again.

but when you answered the phone,

you said "mamaya na lang"

without even telling me why? so i said ok!!!

i said to myself maybe you were just busy then,

I texted you "san ka ba? anong ginagawa mo?

you replied "photocopying, photoshoot with my classmate, txt you later"

then i replied "ok..just text me wen ur done.. ok?"

later at around 8:30pm we decided to meet, i mean i insist that we should meet because of the text i received from you that tells;

"sweetie, i cant do this anymore, im sorry, i'll miss you"

Tang***, what are you saying, para akong gago sa mrt, di ko mapigilang umiyak, pinipigilan ko, nangingiwi ng bibig ko dahil sasabog na ang luha ko, pero i tried pa rin to calm down, i texted you,

"what do u mean i can't do this anymore? then you replied

"the relationship, i cant it hurts, im sorry i've been one bad person, my conscience is eating me up, sorry if i can't do this in person".

dumating ako sa place and then started to ask you why? right then and there you broke up with me, ang masakit pa dun, nagsisinungaling ka, nung tumawag pala ako, you and your friends watched New Moon, yong Housemate ko nagtatampo sa akin dahil dati pa balak na namin manood ng new moon pero i said No to her because im gonna watch it together with you, because right after nating manood ng New Moon we're gonna have dinner, at yon yong plano natin dba? and i was gonna tell you, iwas gonna surprise you that i will be spending christmas here sa manila, that im gonna spending christmas with YOU, but because you're breaking up with me hindi na sya mangyayari,

Nasasaktan ako.. sobra.. hindi mo lang alam.. pero its ok.. you were just 17 yrs old, madaling magbago ang isip. naiintindihan kita, and i realize now kung ganu ka importante ang age when it comes to relationship.

I miss you and i'll never forget you, kahit papano minahal kita ng totoo.

a new beginning

2009-11-13T14:06:00.009+09:00

Minsan ang buhay talagang nakakalito, siguro hindi lang minsan kundi most of the time, mahirap ipaliwanag ang di mo maintindihang nararamdaman sa kaibuturan ng iyong puso, subalit datapwat- pilit mong iniisip na tama ito pero at the back of your mind, naguguluhan ka lang..

tulad ng isang pag-ibig.. siguro lahat naman nakakaranas kung pano main-love, diba?

Isang araw dumating sa buhay mo ang taong iyon, sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon o kaya sa di inaasahang lugar, tapos nagkatinginan kayo, at biglang nagkaroon ng spark, masasabi mo ba na sya na?

then, almost everyday magkasama kayo dahil feeling mo namimiss mo yong tao, feeling mo gusto mo na sya, pero at the end malalaman mo na naguguluhan ka lang pala, hindi ka sure sa mga ngyayari, naghahanap ka lang pala ng atensyon.

***********************************

sadya nga bang kay lupit ng tadhana, buhay natin ay pinag-lalaruan, pati puso natin kaya nyang saktan. Kung may pagkakataon man maituwid ang pagkakamali iyon ay huli na.

Sinaktan na natin ang taong kahit papano'y minahal din natin ng totoo, gayun nga lang sa mga oras na yon isip natin ay nalilito.

Minsan iniisip ko na lang ng matulog sa buong araw, manood ng tv yong tipong wala kang iisipin kundi kumain matulog at tumawa, pero malabo atang mangyari yon.

Ang hirap mag disisyon, hindi mo alam kung mapapahamak ka sa disisyon mo o ikakabuti sya, katulad ngayon aalis na ako papuntang davao as in uuwi na ako for good, nag render na lang ako ng 30 days sa company, pero hindi pa rin mawawala sa isip ko kung makakahanap ba ako ng work padating sa davao baka naman kasi ma tanggong ako pagdating dun, ayaw kong maging jobless ang hirap ata pag walang pera.

Naiiyak ako dahil mamimiss ko yong hauzmate ko na walang kasing ogag sa buhay, yong katrabaho ko, hindi nila inakala na magreresign ako sa work, for almost 3yrs di nila akalain na lilisanin ko ang lugar na iyon at mananatili na lang sa probinsya.

Naiiyak ako dahil sa mga taong malapit sa buhay ko ay iiwanan ko na sila, kahit sabihin nating meron namang kumyonikasyon iba pa rin ang nakikita mo at nakaka-usap mo sila ng harap harapan.

Naiiyak ako dahil mamimiss ko yong mga tawa namin, yong tipong nag-uusap kami tungkol sa hirap ng buhay, problema, alam mo yong may matatakbuhan ka pagdating sa mga bagay na iyon.

Naiiyak ako dahil hindi ko alam pano mag-umpisa ng panibagong buhay sa probinsya, pano ko itataguyod ang buhay ko kasama ang mga estranherong tao sa paligid ko,

Naiiyak ako dahil pano pag magkaproblema ko sino yong tatakbuhan ko, yong tipong isang text lang anjan na sila, kahit hindi pa ngyayari ang mga iyon natatakot ako dahil alam ko balang araw mangyayari iyon.

Naiiyak ako dahil ang liit ng sweldo sa davao hindi ako sanay, at wala akong mauutangan dahil wala na si mhel, alangan naman mag pa western union pa sya, malabo ata nyang gawin yon.

Naiiyak ako dahil may maiiwan, isang tao na minsan ay minahal ko ng totoo, hindi ko alam pano mag paalam sa taong ito, hindi ko alam pano sabihin ang mga katagang "PAALAM".

Pero alam ko isa itong kagustuhan ng Diyos, alam nya ang buhay ko, di naman nya siguro akong hayaang magdisisyon kung di ko kaya.

Sa lahat ng tao na nakilala ko dito sa manila, hindi ko alam pano sabihin ito kundi maraming salamat na naging bahagi kayo sa buhay ko, sa mga blogger na naging friend ko dalaw dalaw na lang kayo sa bahay ko.

handa na rin akong mag- umpisa ng bagong buhay sa davao...

Hanggang sa muli..

alone

2009-11-05T12:37:00.003+09:00

I'm in great pain now, I am hurt
I want to tell you about it,

I wish I have the guts to pretend that I'm Ok
but pretending is not gonna help me.

I always wanted you here beside me,
Now, I'm alone and so sad.

I'm still hoping that a second chance would come,
I still want you back.

and life is not worth living
if I don't have you around.

cause Life means You.

qoute for the day

2009-10-29T12:10:00.005+09:00

"Don't let your past dictate

who you are,

but let it be part of

who you will become."

something to ponder

2009-09-11T10:45:00.002+09:00

I would like to share this to you guys,

a good friend of mine e-mail this to me.

I love it.

MAXIM FOR LIFE

	Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
	Memorize your favorite poem.
	Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
	When you say, "I love you", mean it.
	When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
	Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
	Believe in love at first sight.
	Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
	Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
	In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
	Don't judge people by their relatives.
	Talk slow but think quick.
	When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?".
	Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
	Call your mom.
	Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
	When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
	Remember the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.
	Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
	When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
	Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
	Marry a man you love to talk to. As you get older, his conversational skills will be as important as any other.
	Spend some time alone.
	Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
	Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
	Read more books and watch less TV.
	Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
	Trust in God but lock your car.
	A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
	In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
	Read between the lines.
	Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
	Be gentle with the earth.
	Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
	Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
	Mind your own business.
	Don't trust a man who doesn't close his eyes when you kiss him.
	Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
	If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
	Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
	Learn the rules then break some.
	Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
	Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
	Remember that your character is your destiny.
	Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

nakakalito, nakakapagod pero go pa rin

2009-09-07T21:23:00.003+09:00

simpleng bagay minsan nakakairita, halos masira na buong araw mo, bakit kaya ganun? siguro sa dami na ngyayari sa paligid natin kaya tayo nagkaganito.

sa mga ginagawa ng mga tao kaya siguro ganito na tayo umasta, naiinis, gustong sumigaw at magwala. nakakalito, nakakapagod, parang walang katapusan ang hirap ng buhay.

hay ang buhay nga naman, sana pag ibig na lang ang isipin (jolens kaw ba yan?) sa bawat kilos ng mga tao sa paligid sana lahat ng bagay na ginagawa nila dahil sa pag ibig.

ang hirap naman kasi ng buhay natin, kung lagi nasa baba tayo parang nasa baba na tayo forever kahit sabihin pa nila na aahon din tayo.

pero kelan pa? pag pumuti na ang uwak? mantakin mo na lang pag nag iisa ka diba? para atang lahat ng bagay dito sa mundo walang kasiguraduhan,

walang mag tatagal, puro hiram, pagkatapos ka ng pag sawaan iiwan ka,

kahit pag ibig di mo alam good terms kayo ngayon pero hindi mo alam bukas wala na.pano ba maging handa tayo? matatanggap kaya natin?

pano tayo makapag move-on kung yong bagay na gusto nating mangyari sa buhay ay yaong mga bagay na dapat kalimutan at di pwedeng gawin?

sobrang nakakalito no?yong gusto mo di naman pwede? yong ayaw mo sdya naman ang dadating? hay ewan ko ba? basta ako go with the flow na lang,

kung masakit man pilitin kung iintidihin the best i can, pilitin kung tanggapin no matter how it hurts, alam naman kasi natin na sisikat din ang araw after ng bagyo pero pano pag matanda ka na saka pa sisikat? unfair diba?

ang tagal tagal mong naghirap tapos malalampasan mo lang yon eh matanda ka na.nakakatawa... kaya sabay na lang tayo sa agos ng buhay natin. masaya man o malungkot, mahirap man o hindi go pa rin friend malay natin along the road magkasabay tayo diba?

just in case lang na magkasabay tayo hawak kamay tayo ha walang bibitaw, maganda di kasi pag may kasama ka, may kausap ka, may kaagapay ka sa t'wina..

nakss naman..hanggang dito na lang, at salamat sa pagbabasa.. ok?

i don't know how to say it..

2009-08-05T09:20:00.002+09:00

its not about thinking what you should do or anything, its just following yourheart in something you want to do.

Have a little faith in something you want in life, no matter what it is. Just believe in it, dont let anyone or any thing stop you from that.

You may not know this but i do, i try to say Hi but the words dont come out of my mouth, so i stand there and walk away disapointed in myself cause i can't say anything to you.

I start to feel like a fool but you clearly dont see that. i ask this one question, if im trying to do that, why aren't you saying anything?

Are you noticing what im trying to do or do you just not pay attention?

Thinking of those words hurt inside but what can i do when every day i try to but i feel akward or just foolish to even do anything so as i lay there and start to not have faith at all,

i ignore what's going on and i just do my thing.

Its the only thing that will keep me from getting hurt and feeling retarted for trying to open my heart to you.

I remember the day

2009-07-30T16:06:00.003+09:00

I remember when I applied for a job somewhere in makati, Napadaan kasi ako sa building na yon kasi pinuntahan ko yong friend ko, of course exam muna bago interview, sa exam palang napansin ko na itong Gay na nag iinterview di ko alam na sya din pala mag iinterview sa akin, naiinis kasi ako kasi yong kasamahan namin sinigawan dahil may tumawag sa phone nya. siguro dahil ilonggo sya.

Guy: hello ma, wa gid ka nag hambal sa akon ba, sana ako na lang mag bakal nun.

Gay: (pasigaw) Pwede ba kung gagamit ng phone sa labas.

Kawawa naman si guy medyo napahiya din.. sabi ko sa sarili ko parang ayaw ko ng ituloy to. nababdtrip kasi ako pag ganyan ang mga tao walang motto. hehehe

Nakapasa naman ako sa exam, pauwi na sana me nang tinawag na name ko para interview, nawalan na me ng gana so napaisip ko total ayaw ko na man lang gagagohin ko tong taong to.

Gay: Hi gud morning, Maupo ka. after that sinabi nya agad itong napa ka common na tanong. "Mr. Noel tell me about yourself?" sinagot ko rin sya ng tanong which is not common to him.

Me: You first!

sagot nya..

Gay: Wow! i'm sorry..

Me: Didn't you hear what i said?

Nabadtrip sya kitang kita sa mukha, while he review my resume tanong sya ulit.

Gay: What do you think you can contribute to the company if you get hired?

Me: Anything that you can and you cannot, I can!

Gay: Thank you for coming over.

Me: your welcome!

Di na ako umasa pa, pag ka alis ko natatawa na lang ako sa mga sinasabi ko, kaya pag napadaan me jan napapangiti na lang ako. hehehehe

yon lang!

it takes time

2009-07-05T16:48:00.003+09:00

it happened just how I always imagine it would. so why do i feel this way? why do i feel so much sadness inside? How can someone whose suppose to makes me feel so complete, end up leaving me so EMPTY.

How can I love again when I can't stop loving the one that hurt me so much? if i could just turn back the time, if i have the power i'll probably make you stay but now, all that I ever held dear is just a memory.

its not love that takes time,
its the letting go that takes time, so much time.

goodbye...

2009-06-30T01:29:00.004+09:00

i'm letting you go. i'm letting 'us' go.

i've finally accepted that this is the way things would have to be. that i should allow us both to be free enough to seek whatever it is that trully makes us happy. even if it isn't with each other.

i must admit you probably won't be too far away from my thoughts, and that thinking of you will still bring that tinge of regret. but i'm okay. i will be okay.

thank you for teaching me the most painful lesson in my life.

coping up..

2009-06-05T09:45:00.003+09:00

waiting for a new beginning

current mood: sad.. so sad..

i want to hide,look for a place somewhere that nobody knows me, i'm tired being bullied. my anger somehow eat me alive." i don't wanna end up hurting myself just because i can't stop them.

Now, I know how it feels when you were so tired and needed some rest but was rejected by people whom you cared for. I should imitate God, leave without a single word and not a heavy heart. Continuously caring for those people, not from a distance but within my heart.

I know things would be very difficult, because I'm still holding on to my last grip and still on the process of letting it go from hands. Every step of it is a sacrifice but I know in the end, this will be best for me, for I will ache no more...

come back to me

2009-05-19T18:59:00.002+09:00

If I had a chance to speak to again, would you listen?

don't know what I would say, but there's so much I want to tell you.

Where would I even begin?

You've changed me in such a profound way.

Every single day,

I think of the friendship that I'll never get back.

I think of how much fun we had back then.

Back when everything was so perfect.

Back to the day when I thought to myself how I'll never find the same happiness again.

I'm constantly frustrated with myself for what I did and I breakdown.

How much longer must I go on like this before I can speak to you again

—to go back to where we left off?

"help me my friend, oh im so tired"

disturb

2009-05-05T14:13:00.005+09:00

Lately sobrang saya ko.. ganito ba talaga, after na maging happy ka ganun na lang kalungkot ang kapalit,

is this the prize of being happy?

the sorrow, the pain, the fear of the unknown future somehow eat me alive, and the loneliness is breaking my heart so bad..

i wanna commit suicide leaving the world behind,

I can live this sadness no longer,

"If I ever commit suicide,
Would you care that I died?
Would you cry and ask yourself why
You didn't get a chance to say good-bye?
Would you even come to my funeral
Dressed in black and filled with sorrow?
Please tell me now of how you feel,
So that I may still live and begin to heal."

im happy...

2009-04-27T23:09:00.005+09:00

every single day of our life is a constant tug-of-war, between doing good and doing what you want.

and everyday God never allow to see someone down,

i've realize God always been there for me no matter how stupid things i've done.

Lately, been acting crazy and weird, i just sometimes caught myself smiling without any reason at all..

when we are out there looking for that perfect person, keep this things in our mind:

..people change no matter how hard they try not to..

..as we grow older, we mature and with each new level of maturity comes,
different ideas..different needs and wants..

..the person who was perfect for us at 20's could be the person we hate at 30's..

..we have to find someone who will: grow with us.. change with us.. laugh with us and cry with us..

..remember that there is no such perfect person in this world but there is will always be someone who will be with us for the rest of our lives...

"in life there are times that you have to face tough decisions, either you make it or you break it..but do remember whatever way you go "there are no wrong decisions in life, its for you to make it right."

im home

2009-04-07T09:18:00.005+09:00

well, just got home after me mag muni-muni sa LAIYA COCOGROVE.. kakapagod pala hehehe.
ito nga pala some of the pix. sobrang mahal its like P2,400 per hear (ndi kasali katawan.. joke!) buffet na, may extension sila white beachmost of the pix here na makikita nyo taken sa white beach.

mhel and me

w/ mhel,dex,tinay,mai and me

treehouse, dito kami stay

harap ng treehouse

last 2 pix ang pinaka fave ko na kuha.. payat ko dito and HOT hahaha

you don't understand me

2009-04-03T16:40:00.001+09:00

roxette..

while i'm away.. makinig muna kayo ng fave song ko.. hehehehe see you around guys

mag mumuni-muni lang me...

found some old stuff

2009-03-29T08:20:00.008+09:00

I was digging thru a box last night trying to locate my old school ID I have seemed to lost. Much to my surprise I did find it and I did found some old birthday card that my dabarkads in college gave it to me a day after my Birthday in Gaisano mall of Davao in Sonic Boom area where I played Samurai shadown 4. I remember vividly It was of October 19, 1998 they gave the card to me. we called ourselves
CAMPUS CELEBRITIES

when my parents asked me to leave davao and stay sa province namin, they sent me a letter, and since i left my birthday card sa isa naming kabarkada isinama na lang nila sa letter.

Campus Celebrities are:

Dennis - (aka bueyes) he is my bestfriend, hes always there for meno matter what, whenever i need him most, he never leave me alone, and of course cum laude sya sa batch namin.unta anhi ka manila ha mga may, dayo ta ha.

kaya ganyan message na sa akin maganda kasi boses nya, unfortunately on my part napaka wala sa tuno ako, mahilig kami kumain ng bbq at mag videoke.and take note sa kanya ko na learned mag BLOG,

Ella - (aka chuella) sya naman ang laging ka kompetensya ni dennis, matalino din ito. Ka relasyon ko sya dati (hahahaha) kumusta na kaya ito? Huling balita ko sa kanya dean na sya sa isang College school sa davao ComSci dept. unfortunately na corrupt yong files ko kaya wala syang pix now. (upload ko later)

(si ella yong nasa left)

Edison - (aka Redskin) si edison naman 2nd honor campus crush sy sa school, gwapo sya dami gurls naghahabol kaso masyado syang kontrobersyal.. (hmmmm) hahahaha bakit kaya?Jona - well, nasa australia lang naman sya, nag aral ng Photography mayaman na ata to kasi nakapag-asawa ng aussie, i remember na pumunts kami sa bahay nila para kumain tapos nag share sya about her feelings kay kevin, nainlove sya kaso bata pa sa kanya, nalaman ko na lang sa letter na nag hiwalay na sila.

Marvi - aka fantine well wala me masyado naalala sa kanya pero ang alam ko sumali kami sa "maria polis" (di ko alam kung ama ang spelling tagal na kasi yon eh) magaling sya matalino honor din sya. alam ko na fave nya dati ang pabango na Gender2000.
Owen (ako) - (aka Daryl d hadsome hunk)kung si edison ay campus crush ako naman ang Hearthrob sa school, ang layo kasi ng itsura ko dati sa ngayon hahahaha.

I was like 21 yrs old that time mejo conscious pa ako sa health that time, active me sa sports, table tennis, lawn tennis and volleyball. kaya mejo fit pa me jan, gwapo ko no? hahaha walang papalag.Dati kaming adik sa chat sa TELNET Fapenet, hahahaha kaya may mga nick pa kami jan baka magtaka kayo.. ako yong pinaka palaaway sa amin, lagi namin inaaway ang mgataga NAGA.

Dumating sa point na after class naghahabulan na kami papuntang library para mag chat kasi mahal ng net dati its like 80-100 bucks per hour. kaya nagtya-tyaga kami mag net sa library, wanted na kami sa library kasi sobrang ingay namin nagagalit na yong librarian ng kung makapag skirt sya sobrang highwaist kaya pinagtatawanan namin sya, later nalang cguro napansin nya,
nag improve na sya at hindi na sya highwaist ang tawag naman namin sa kanya si ms improve.

dumating sa point na bawal na magchat sa library kaya ag ginawa namin patago, at minsan nahuli kami ni sir Rolly(yong nagbabantay sa net) na banned kami hahahah.

sarap balik balikan ang mga ngyayari sa buhay namin sa college, may kunting tampohan, kakulitan at ang pinakafave naming gawin after school ay ang mag-malling. kasi likod ng school namin (UIC Bankerohan) palengke, kaya amoy palengke.

Kaso lang after ng 2nd yr college nag shift me ng course, umuwi me sa province lumipat ng school kaya sobra na lang ang lungkot na adarama ko after that have to start a new life build a new friends.

Pero ngayon meron akong constant communication with dennis, minsa si jona at edison, si marvi wala na me balita sa kanya lalo na si Ella.

Kung saan man sila ngayon I hope naalala pa nila yong friendship namin at sana nasa mabuting kalagyan sila.

i missed you guys...

Happy Graduation day

2009-03-24T10:57:00.007+09:00

happy graduation day!!!!

"congratulation sis, i know na gusto mo na anjan ako pero di kaya ng budget, sana maintindihan mo ako, i miss you so much and im very proud.
Always pray to God alam ko kaya natin to.. tulungan natin si mama, ako din gusto kong pumunta pero mahirap, kulangin ako.. basta uwi na lang pag nakipon na..
i love you so much.. "

ang bilis ng karma...

2009-03-23T14:31:00.008+09:00

Di ko alam kung sino sa kanila ang magnanakaw.. 3 kami sa apartment mga friend ko, siguro this time di nila ako masisisi kung irereport ko na to sa police. simula ng malipat ako jan 4 na beses na me nanakawan plus yong friend ko ninakawan din. 2gurl ang kasama ko sa apartment pero magkasama sila sa room, pero ako lang mag isa sa room kaso nga lang walang lock pag umaalis me sa bahay.

maalala ko nung december pera ko worth 2500 ang ninakaw sa akin, phone ko worth 5500, tatlong every other day ata yon tapos when i invited my friend para mag inoman sa bahay itouch na naman nya ninanakaw, lahat ito nawala sa sala namin so kala ko ibang tao ang magnanakaw, pero na realize ko nung march 1 2009, iba na! bago ako mahospital ninakawan na naman ako ng 2000 sa room ko.

during that time walang ibang tao kundi ako, hauzmate ko na dalawang babae at mga 2 friend ko na lalaki, na realize ko kung ibang tao ang magnanakaw bakit pera lang ang kinuha, bakit yong dalawang watch ko andun pa rin pati ipod ko. dahil kung ibang tao ang nagnakaw ng pera ko di sana kinuha na nya pati watch ko na timex at fossil kasama na ipod, pero hindi eh, paunti unti.

sabi ko sa kanila, cge ok lang baka nahihirapan din yong tao makakarma na din yon.

pero last week, last tuesday yong 2 watch ko na naman ninakaw, ang masakit lang dun yong 2 watch ko bigay sa akin ng special friend ko, sabi ko hindi na to tama, nag magkakausap kami lahat sa bahay, sabi ko ibalik na lang yong watch ko kasi may sentimental value yan sa akin, after that walang kumilos sinurprisa ko sila nag usap ulit kami this time sabi ko galing me sa NBI bibigyan ko kayo ng 24hours para sauli nyo yong 2watch ko, itext nyo lang ako papatawarin ko kayo, i-try ko unawain ko kayo explain nyo lang bakit nyo nagawa sa akin.

feeling ko kasi kung sino man nagnakaw ng watch ko, sya din kumuha ng pera ko at phone ko at itouch ng friend ko.

after 4hours sometextd me number lang, ibabalik daw nya yong watch ko, pero di na kami daw mag uusap, since yong isang hauzmate ko kakapalit lang daw nya ng number i assume sa kanya yong txt na yon, pero when i textd her wid her name and question mark, she replied like "whos dis?" nagtataka tuloy ako.

what id did kinausap ko yong nag text sa akin,

i ask her "nagtext ka ba sa akin"

she replied "no, wala me number sayo dba nag change ako apat lang nakakaalm ng number ko"

idiin na naman nya yong isang kasama na babae, na ganito ganun daw, sobrang napaniwala naman ako, pero nung kinausap na kami ng management bakit yong salysay nya sa akin i di nagmamatch.

posible na sya ang kumuha, posible din na totoo ang sabi nya na yong isang kasama namin ang kumuha pero base on thier statements feeling ko talaga sya ang magnanakaw. nagwork sya sa callcenter, before matapos ang usapan namin with the management sabi ko talaga,

ikaw gurl1 "mamatay man ang mama mo or isa sa pamilya mo, matatanggal ka sa work, kung nag sisinung aling ka sa akin"

she replied "oo mamatay man silang lahat kung nagsisinung aling ako, dahil alam ng Diyos hindi ako kumuha."

i did the same thing with gurl2, isinama ko ng mag BF nila, ganun din parereho lang sinasabi nila sa akin..

ang bilis talaga ng Karma....

Kahapon, nalaman ko na ito pala si gurl1 na terminate sa work..

so ano kaya? what do u think? Gods answered prayer or totoo talaga na karma na ito?

pero di pa rin ako satisfied eh.. unless walang umaamin.. basta may isa pang karma na darating di ako papayag.. pag babayaran nya.

concrete angel

2009-03-16T15:19:00.003+09:00

martina mcbride

She walks to school with the lunch she packed

Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

so sad.. this is so sad, it shatters my heart when i saw this video and it makes me cry, (deep breathe) why can't people stop this kind of stuff. i wish i could do something to prevent and STOP CHILD ABUSE.

How could some peolpe do this to their love ones.

operation success

2009-03-14T15:52:00.009+09:00

Finally natapos na rin ang operation siguro na admit ako from sunday march 8 till wednesday march 11. sa wakas at mejo nakahinga na rin me dahil before operation sobrang kaba at takot ang nararamdaman ko.
march 9 at around 9am dinala na ako sa operating room, sobra kaba ko at takot ang nararamdaman ko, hindi dahil sa ooperahan ako kundi dahil naka hubad ako.. ano ba yan, di naman ako sa tiyan or kung sang part ooperahan at bakit kelangan pang nakahubad, no choice SOP daw.
ayon nakamonitor lahat yong heartbeat ko, oxygen sa utak, blood pressure, at ang masakit pa dun wala me kain, NPO na me since 12 midnyt.
tinurok na sa akin yong dextrose, IV ba tawag dun di ko alam yon eh, di kasi ako medical, sobrang sakit, maya maya na lang ay inijectionan na ako ng anesthesia, ang naalala ko lang na huling sabi ko "doc ang hapdi" wala lang 60 seconds tulog na ako.
nagising na lang ako nasa recovery room na ako mag alas-dos. sobrang tagal, maya na lang at dinala ako pabalik sa aking room, mejo ok naman ako,
till now di parin me kumakain ng kanin puro lang malamig, kaya pumapayat me.. hahahha

kay abbie, jc, ian, mike thank you pala sa pag babantay nyo sa akin, ito nga pala sila.

jc, abie and ian-male version ni storm (hahaha)

natatakot

2009-03-08T09:28:00.005+09:00

In memory of the Master Rapper Francis Magalona (1964-2009)

"Every color and every hue
is represented by me and you
take a slide in the slope
take a look in the kaleidoscope...
spinning around, make it twirl
in this kaleidiscope world..."

Wherever you are, you will always be in our heart and in pour mind
we love and we will miss you.

isa sa mga favorite artist ko si Francis M. kaya di ko mapigilang umiyak nung araw na sinabi ni vic sotto sa eat bulaga that he passed away already.

Life nga naman full of surprises ndi mo alam kung kelan, pati tuloy ako natatakot.

Natatakot ako kasi ngayong araw na ito i-aadmit na po ako sa hospital UST para makapag rest daw ng maayos dahil bukas March 9,2009 at around 10am ay ooperahan na po ako.

hindi naman major operation kasi tatanggalin lang naman tonsil ko pero still andun pa rin yong kaba at takot dahil hindi ko alam, maraming bagay ang naglalaro sa isip ko na posibling mangyari.

buti na lang din at cover ng Healthcard ko yong pagpapaopera, dahil kung hindi, di ko alam kung san ako kukuha ng pera.

salamat sa lahat, sana maging ok naman ang resulta, hayy natatakot talaga ako. sobrang pag pray ko na mawala ang kaba at takot na nararamdaman ko.

salamat uli...

ewan

2009-03-05T23:55:00.005+09:00

heart to heart talks...

holding hands...

leaning on shoulders...

tight hugs...

goodbye kisses...

half meant jokes...

sweet compliments...

exchanging love qoutes...

tapos friends lang... hay buhay nga naman...

best gift...

2009-03-03T04:57:00.006+09:00

(ako at sis ko)

been here sa manila for almost 5 years, sobrang hirap ang dinanas ko dito, sobrang pait ang naranasan ko sa mga taong nasa paligid ko, kahit papano may mga natirang tunay na kaibigan, sa kabila ng bagyo at kalungkutan ko anjan sila para ibigay at ibuhos ang tunay na pagmamahal.

labis labis na lang ang pangungulila ko sa aking pamilya na nasa probinsya, walang araw at gabi na di ko sila iniisip, dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay natututu kang mag balat ng buto, at kung ano ano na lang na trabaho ang pinasukan ko para lang may maipadala sa mama ko at pang alawans sa kapatid ko, kahit ako'y pagod na pinilit ko pa rin ang katawan ko magtrabaho dahil kung hindi ako kikilos walang pangtuition ang kapatid ko..

minsan gusto ko ng sumuko, hindi ko na kaya, naiiyak ako dahil, tuwing umuuwi ako sa boarding haus na mimiss ko yong salubong ng mama ko, yong tipong tinatanong ako na "kumusta na araw mo anak?" "kumain ka na ba?" malaman mo na mahal ka at may nag ki-care sayo..

I work hard para sa kapatid ko, para sa mama ko, para sa pamilya ko, simula ng mamatay si papa di naman ako inobliga ng mama ko para mag trabaho pero di ko kaya makita na naghihirap sila, kahit yong kuya ko na walang ginawa kundi umasa lang sa akin at dahil mahal ko sila kaya heto ako pilit na umaasa na balang araw magbabago din ang estadu ng buhay namin.

Alam ko na gagraduate ang kapatid ko ngayong march, kanina lang tenext nya ako, isang maganda surprisa na di ko mapigilang maiyak dahil sa sobrang saya ko, at habang sinusulat ko naiiyak ako kahit papano nagbunga ang pag hihirap ko at may katuwang na ako.

muntik na syang maging cum laude kaso nga lang may isa syang subject nung 3rd yr na hindi umabot sa cut-off. pero ok lang kahit di man sya cum laude masaya pa rin ako. as in sobrang saya ko and im so proud na napa graduate ko sya.

ang sarap ng feeling... lahat ng pagod at paghihirap ko nasuklian na..

salamat kay God sa pag alalay sa akin, at sa mga kaibigan ko na kahit kelan anjan para suportahan ako.

reality...

2009-02-28T17:24:00.005+09:00

for me this are the four important things in life when it comes to relationship, because when you break it they don't make noise but HURT a lot..

1. Trust

2. Promise

3. Relationship

4. Heart

(courtesy of turmoil)

guys please don't over use the word "choosy" everyone of us has a different personality and preferences, let's just respect each other. Humanap ka ng pangit at ibigin mong tunay, pagkat ang ganda ay kumukupas, ngunit ang pagkatao kailan may di lilipas.

It hurts a lot when somebody rejected you, i've been there, and i know exactly how it feels,

lalo na pag natamaan ka ng pana ni cupido, ang hirap. pero wala tayong magagawa kasi its their will also to look for someone na gusto nila, someone na nagpapatibok ng puso nila.

pare-pareho tayo ng hinahanap, we look for someone that bring our heart and soul together and bring us to life everyday, kaso hindi talaga eh, di talaga para sa isa't isa, yon ang pinakamasakit.

Don't look for someone who will complete you, you complete yourself!

instead look for someone who will complement you, who will bring out the best in you, someone who will not just use and abuse you.

I sometimes prefer to be alone, alone in the world, i get rejected by some people around me.

I feel like there is nothing for me in this world.

they said "you have to wait" but what the F*** been waiting and shit didn't come at all to me

I have a feeling like i hate being alone and sometimes i like being alone coz it has a reason...

if only...

2009-02-22T22:52:00.008+09:00

this past few days, i have been very happy, of course there were a few down sides but i rather not think of those, i'm not gonna ruin my day.. :)

i have been spending time with someone i like and i really enjoying it, i don't know what's happening to me these days, i don't know.. wahhh you can't really find the exact reason why the feeling goes that way... (friend ko lang to ha)

happiness, contented, thats what you feel and you always give a smile to anyone whoever pass by. hayyy sarap ng feeling.

actually its her voice does something strange to me, it's so far-fetched that i really can't describe it. i love what we are now though we're somewhere on that gray area. it's something that the only two of us know and will ever understand...(maxado bang intimate?)

***********

and lately i have been communicating with my old friends, i started texting them, it's like your connecting to your past self again.. it feels so good... remembering what i used to be, made me realize how much i've change this past few years.

i have matured to some extend and the things i want to stay the same never did, they changed, little by little, without me noticing it.

thingking about it makes me feel sad, if only i coluld relish those moments a little longer, if only i could guarantee that they'll stay with me for the rest of my life...

IF ONLY... then I would be very happy.

i don't know why change makes me sad, all i know that it is something that i cannot runaway from and have to accept it... and just realize that you have to enjoy the moment before its totally gone.

*give smile to everyone, who knows its the only sunshine they had for the whole day. :)

leave me alone!!!

2009-02-19T09:09:00.004+09:00

I don't FEEL
the NEED
to SELL
my PERSONALITY
to LIVE UP
your EXPECTATIONS..sobrang badtrip ako and i wish i could tell you this stuff. . . my apology for the curse, for the word guys... i just can't find the perfpect word para sa good friend ko who happend to be my best enemy NOW.

i felt good na.. nailabas ko na galit ko, buti na lang naisulat ko, ayaw kung sumigaw nakakahiya... i never felt so much anger before.. ngayon lang...

*peace out*

happy hurts day...

2009-02-14T21:59:00.004+09:00

........sick of crying

tired of waiting........

..........yes i am smiling

but deep inside i am dying..........

valentine's day

2009-02-10T10:00:00.002+09:00

Malapit-lapit na rin ang Valentines day.. Lahat ng mga tao nagkakagulo, nag iisip, nawiwindang dahil sa celebrasyong ito.. Pero ako dedma lang wala naman talaga akong ka-date, wala din akong crushh (wahhh) kaya no sweat at all kung darating man ang Valentine's day.

walang gastos, matipid, total mahal ko naman ang sarili ko, sarili ko nalang i-date ko, i-treat ko hahahaha.

pero sa mga taong may minamahal at crushessss masasabi ko lang i Gud luck na lang po sa inyo, naway magiging success kayo sa mga balak nyo hahaha.

Abot batok namn ang ngiti ng mga may-ari ng mga motel dahil for sure marami na naman ang mag tsu-tsuktsakan.. hahahaha malamang makalipas ang ilang buwan maraming mabubuntis o kaya kung di mabuntis, maraming bata ang mamamatay.. sana fave nila ang kanta ni rihanna-unfaithful "i don't wanna be a murderer" para save life hahahaha bawal mag withdraw kasi ndi banko.. ok?

at sa mga taong wala pang ka-date: ito ang tanong ng mga sambayanan, tanong ng marami, usap-usapan ng mga bakla sa kanto, sa parlor, sa palengke, tanong ala janina san miguel.

DO YOU FEEL ANY PRESSURE RIGHT NOW?

i could not count. . .

2009-02-04T16:43:00.002+09:00

i could not count the number of houses i stayed back in elementary,

i could not count how many meals i skipped or how many typical porridge and dried fish i had as meals before going to school and even going to bed.

this happened due to the misfortunes i had in life...

i could not count how many tears i shed for not having money for snacks at school and even fare for riding a jeepney...

i could not count how many kilometers i walked to and from school...

i could not count how many times i failed, i hurt, i wept for not having you by my side...

i could not count how many times i asked you to stay and be with me...

i could not count how many times i asked God to back me up, to catch me every time i fall..

and i could not count how many times i said "Thank you God"

while dreaming is boundless i think we should not stop in doing such because it is through this that we open the portal to the inner us.

keep dreaming my friend....

sometimes. . .

2009-01-28T01:22:00.003+09:00

sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it,

but you must. . .

sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love,

sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts,

but then just sometimes,

you get it back and live happily ever after.

and sometimes i wish HURTS never exist,

coz i'm afraid of losing YOU.

new life, new year

2009-01-22T03:54:00.003+09:00

whoa... i haven't greeted anyone yet kaya HAPPY NEW YEAR... whoaaaa

sobrang late grabe.. Ngayon lang me talaga nag karoon ng time para mag Blog grabe for the past month pbalik balik ang sakit ko, muntik na me mag new year sa hospital. Dapat kasi ooperahan me, yong sakit ko ATP (acute of tonsilitispharyngitis) lagi na lang namamaga lalamunan ko, di me halos makalunok kahit laway ko, di me makakain ng maayos pumayat tuloy me.

pero i'm ok na 1month din me naka LOA sa work, wala tuloy me sweldo pero ok lang kahit papano may nakuha naman ako sa SSS, til now inoobserbahan pa rin ako ng doctor, back to work na me, pero still sumasakit pa rin lalamunan kahit 30min pa lang me sa call sumasakit na.

well, i'm hoping this year, after a year of hardship and struggles, peace of mind at sana wag masyado mahirap ang pagsubok ko kasi sobrang napapagod na me,

thank sa lahat sa pag pasyal... miss you guys...

ice

sad christmas

2008-12-26T01:55:00.002+09:00

sobrang excited ako sa christmas, di na nga akao makaantay, ininvite ko yong mga barkada ko na mag inoman sa apartment, aside sa alak, aaminin ko sa inyo nag va-valium ako, dahil sa sobrang bangag di ko na alam kung san ko nalagay ang phone ko. lasing na lasing ako.. basta nagising na lng ako na wala na me phone.. nanghihinayang ako pero ok lng kasalanan ko naman, ang masama pa nun the next morning pero ko na man sa wallet ninakaw 2.5 din yon at yong na lang ang natitirang pera ko.. sobrang nag freak out ako kasi wala na me pera..

ang ginawa ko i called up my firend pinapapunta ko sial sa bahaypara mag inoman, yong friend ko dala dala nya yong i-touch nya dahil sa sobrang bangag namin at ba V kami nanakawan na naman kami sa apartment i touch nya nawala.. hay.. kaka badtrip kung sino man kumuha nun sana masaya sya gift ko na lang yon pero taena wala akong pera...

wala akong pera...

merry xmas sa lahat...

10k

2008-11-29T08:06:00.002+09:00

sobrang litong lito ako ngayon, sa dami ng problemang dumadating sa akin di ko na alam kung san uunahain ko, for 2 weeks nagkasakit na naman ako kaya walang update ang blog ko, pabalik balik ang lagnat ko buti ng na lang at meron kaming medi card para at least mabawasan gastos ko sa hospital pati pang admit,check-up, room lahat medi card gamot lang gasto ko..

habang naka confined ako sa hospital yong kuya ko naman naka confined din grabe sobra hirap, wala pa naman trabahao kapatid ko kaya mejo nahihirapan sa gastos sa hosptial, syempre ako lang nagtratrabaho kaya ako padala ng pera sa kanila, sobrang kakapagod mag isip, gusto ko ng mamatay that time...

Buti na naman at nailabas na kapatid ko kala ko tapos na ayon nilagnat na naman sya, at kelangan na namang i-admit.. wala na akong pera sobrang walang wala na ako, kahit 5-6 na pautang pinatulan ko na para lang makapag padala ng pera.. after 3 days ok na naman kala ko tapos na pag hihirap ko..

Biglang nagtxt kapatid ko, pambayad ng exam daw at dahil graduating sya kelangn nyang mag bayad na ng grad fee dahil kung hindi sya makabayad walang pictorials.. ayaw ko naman yon mangyari dahil pinaghirapan ko sya, nagtratrabaho ako para lang mapaaral sya pero san ako kukuha ng 10k, putchak wala na akong pera.. lahat wala na, balak ko na nga benta phone ko, i pod ko, watch ko.. salary ko di na enaf para padala ko, may binabayaran din akong apartment.. hayyyyyy

saan ako pupunta ngayon...

pain

2008-11-10T19:46:00.003+09:00

that day, my heart collapsed but I'm not telling you that,
even if i scream how painful it is, these unforgettable memories
will not change the way i live my life,
i still can't see changes, still darkness flowing into my body and soul
i still can't see the sunshine that makes my day one of a kind
so, I'll still feel depressed tomorrow...

and now.. what will i do?

pangungulila

2008-10-29T09:08:00.004+09:00

cguro around 1am ng papunta me ng office, habang nasa taxi nagte-text kami ng kapatid ko at mama ko, pinag-uusapan namin if im going home for christmas.once in a year lang ako umuuwi, during christmas lang, usually 5days lang ako stay sa bahay din balik agad ako sa manila, 5 years na ako sa manila

the rest 360days ay dito na lahat sa manila nila, kaya sobra-sobra talaga ang pangungulila ko sa pamilya ko..

nung napadaan kami sa isang lugar napansin ko agad ang mga christmas lights malapit sa cash n carry, ganda ng ilaw at bigla nalang akong naghina, di ko mapigilan ang ma-luha at umiyak, pinipigilan ko na lang kasi papasok pa ako sa work baka naman kasi kantsawan ako.

pinag pi-pray ko nalang sana maka-uwi ako ngayong xmas kasi alam ko malabo mangyari yon dahil wala na akong leaves.. ubos na lahat. alam ko na malabo itong matupad pero im still hoping na

sana ngayong pasko ay makasama at makapiling ko yong pamilya ko..

Father's letter

2008-10-25T19:52:00.002+09:00

when a friend of mine email this to me, i suddenly pause for a minute and take time to read this, parang natulala ako after all, at biglang napaisip,maraming mga tanong na nabuo sa aking isipan..

Sometime's we don't have time for God,
what if God does not have time for us,

naisip nyo ba yon minsan? nakakapanindig balahibo ano?

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up ~ Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ~ Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image ~ Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being ~ Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring ~ Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation ~ Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb ~ Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born ~ Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me ~ John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love ~ 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father ~ 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father ~ Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand ~ James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ~ Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ~ Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing ~ Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession ~ Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul ~ Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things ~ Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me ~ Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart ~ Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires ~ Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ~ Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager ~ 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus ~ John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed ~ John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being ~ Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ~ Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you ~ 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ~ Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me ~ 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again ~ Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ~ Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father ~ Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is ~ Will you be my child? ~ John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you ~ Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad,
Almighty God

if i could

2008-10-23T20:12:00.004+09:00

avoiding something doesn't always mean that you hate it,
it could also mean that you want it,
but you just know that it isn't right..

i must be dreaming...

if I could turn back time
i will never let you go...

thank you... God

2008-10-18T02:22:00.006+09:00

Have you ever wonder,

why God allow people to get hurt?

If He loves us why can't He allow us to love the person we love so much,

why he would not touch the heart of the person we love just to love us back?

and if he doesn't want to see us crying,

why do we feel emptiness in life, resentment

and sometimes thinking of ended up our life?

if there's anything that this life of mine has taught me, is that life can be a difficult one but in other way around life can humble you in a sense that in can make you king of the world, life can just go on hurting you and can make your world come crashing down on you and it humbles you and make you realize that you'll never get to high and you never get to low.

it's true that you'll never get what you want, what you need if you quit.. sabi nga nila "habang may buhay, may pag asa pa" pero if you think that this is not really meant for you, you have to quit, don't force yourself you'll ended up hurting yourself so much.

that's life!!! it makes you realize when to stop and makes you realize too if you really have to fight for it..

life teaches us how to accept things that are not meant for us, it humble us, sabi nga sa kanta "learning the art of letting go" although pain leaves scar in our heart but its the only way to live life completely.

Im just really happy this time, i'm not questioning God why some good people around us has to leave, i understand why we sometime have to live alone, i understand why some people are not meant for us, its because He wants us to realize the important thing in life that He is always there beside you through thick and thin, who loves you so much, for who we are..

this is just some lessons i've learned in this world after all,

I just wanna say Thank you God for giving me another year.. today is a very speacial day of my life. its may Birthday,

Happy Birthday to Me...

sana minsan...

2008-10-16T03:44:00.007+09:00

di ko kaya ipagtapat ang pag-ibig ko
sa isang taong pilit iniiwasan ko
kaibigan lang, sakin yan ang turing mo
pag-ibig, yan ang nakita ko sayo

habang sa akin ay papalapit ka
pano ko sasabihing mahal kita
pintig ng puso ko'y sobrang kaba
dahil alam ko ika'y may mahal ng iba

pinilit kong intindihin ang mga pangyayari
pinilit tangapin na ika'y di ko pag-aari
pinilit unawain na ika'y mapalayo sa akin
pinilit kong tiisin kahit masakit na sa damdamin

ngunit hanggang kelan ako maghihintay
sa pag-ibig mong aking inaantay
pag-ibig na ibinigay mo ng buo sa kanya
sana'y minsan ay aking madama

finding happiness...

2008-10-11T20:11:00.004+09:00

many people think that my life is so damn easy.. i wake up at the time i wanted to that was before but not now, watch movie if i wanted to do so.. but people doesn't understand whats running through my mind, they don't have any idea that, right now i'm suffering from things that i can't just let go..

if its not a sin to kill myself, maybe i've already done that.. maybe im dead right now.. many people dont know what ive been going through.. i laugh as if nothings bothering me.. but behind that smile is something i cannot explain.. i never shared problems to them, i always wanted everyone to feel at ease and happy when i'm around.

its just so hard for me to find the real happiness.. chasing happiness is my major problem.. yes there is no pure happiness.. all of us are chasing our own, but still we cannot find it.. the contentment is still nowhere.. problems regarding our family, friends, and even love life..

we are in this kind of situation where we have to understand that this is one of God's challenges for us.. to make us strong.. to make us a better person.. don't you realize sometimes that we only seek God if we're in the middle of nowhere, if we encounter hardship and trouble? we sometimes forgot to say "Thank You" if we already got what we want..

now i want to agree on what people say - that my life is very easy.. its because i have a great relationship with God..

He's the source of my strength.. and He is the reason why im still alive despite of all the thing ive been through.. i know He's with me.. more than my family, friends and even my ex-gf can.. every one of us can find our real happiness through Him..

Thank you! i feel better now...

I like for you to be still..

2008-10-09T00:08:00.007+09:00

by: Pablo Neruda

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not touch you
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
And it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth
As all things are filled with my soul
You emerge from the things
Filled with my soul
You are like my soul
A butterfly of dream
And you are like the word: Melancholy

I like for you to be still
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would've died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I'm happy;
Happy that it's not true

dahil sa isang tula...

2008-10-06T21:16:00.012+09:00

Isa sa mga paborito kong Author si Pablo Neruda sa kanya ako natutung gumawa ng mga tula tungkol sa isang pag-ibig, kaibigan at mga bagay bagay na ngyayari sa buhay natin.

I want to share this Poem to you guys , isa ito sa mga ginawa ni Pablo Neruda na tula na memorize ko na at everytime na binabasa ko ito i-feel na feel ko... bigay todo.. lahat ng emotion maibubuhos ko pag itinula ko ito.. s'ya ang naging inspirasyon ko, at sana ay makagawa ako ng isang tula na kasing ganda nito.

if you forget me
by: Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
(fave line ko dito)

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

Ang ganda dba? sobra... ako kahit baliktad man english ko... kahit sabihin man nila na trying hard ako gusto ko pa ring gumawa ng tula, gusto ko pa ring maibuhos ang damdamin ko, ang tunay na nararamdaman ko, gusto kong sabihin lahat ng hinanakit ko sa buhay ko, gusto kung i share sa lahat ng nasa paligid ko sa pamamagitan ng tula na ako'y nasasakal na sa hirap ng buhay, gusto kong maramdaman nila kung gano kasakit ang masaktan, ganu kahirap mawalan ng minamahal, ganu ako ka gago magtiwala at umasa sa wala.. at minsan ko na ring naisip na tapusin na ang lahat, tapusin ang buhay ko dahil akoy pagod na.

Hindi ko kayang sabihin sa mga tao ng harap harapan dahil ayokong kaawa-an ako, ayokong pagtawanan ako dahil lang sa letcheng pag-ibig na yan, ayaw kong makikita nila na ako'y nasasaktan, gusto ko lahat ng tao sa paligid ko masaya, walang problemang iniisip.. pero ang hirap palang mag-isa malayo sa magulang at kapatid lalo na ang taong hindi mo ini-expect na mawalay sayo ay nawala ng walang kadahil-dahilan.. wala man lang sinabi kung bakit... ang pinakamasakit pa nun isang pag-ibig na di ko kayang ipaglaban.

Dahil sa isang tula lahat ng gusto kong sabihin ay nasasabi ko...

tag game

2008-10-01T10:16:00.008+09:00

so alone yet

a lot of heart in the world are in fire.....

so near yet so far

i couldn't even feel the fire burning inside.....

the world so warm

yet your arms are so cold.....

wielding my way into your heart

just to let you stay with me forever more.....

what we need not just want

is to love and be loved.....

my tears will never ever lost

cause i know it is sincerely shed.....

and just for you...

I am willing to be hurt again.....

I miss you

....

tagged by: BJ Batang MaiLap

Here’s the rule:

...

1. Write a poem or an inspiring line based on a photo of your choice. This photo can be your own, or someone else’s. (If the picture is not yours, please ask permission from the owner when you post it, or better yet, provide only the link to the picture that inspired you, without posting it.)

...

2. Your poem or inspiring line may be of any length, and any genre. It can be humorous, sentimental, heart-warming, whatever. You may write in Ilokano, English or Filipino.

...

3. Post your inspiring line in your blog and in the comment section of this page (or just a link to your post so we could go and check it there). For poetry submissions, please indicate if you wish your piece to be posted in Bilingual Pen as an article submission.

...

4. The goal of this game is to get us to write, and express our thoughts and emotions.

...

i am now tagging:

...

1: Teresa - emoterang probinsyana

2: Ely - Beyond Horizon

3: Ron - on the coffin rock

4: Fjordz - Hiraya: Endless journey

5: Jei an - Embracing reality

6: Roland - Anghel na walang langit

7: Lance - Soulsearching

8: Odin - Red riding Odin Hood

...

message received

2008-09-27T18:09:00.005+09:00

I thought everything was pretty smooth after all, I was fixing my bed and preparing myself to take a bath, charging my phone while browsing some old pictures.. Digging some old stuff trying to separate those things from her that made me reminded of her.. suddenly I received a message, when I checked, it was just a number and a quote goes like this:

“Normal day,
let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me learn from you,
love you,
bless you before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.
Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.
One day I shall dig my nails into the earth,
or bury my face in the pillow,
or stretch myself taut,
or raise my hands to the sky and want,
more than all the world,
your return

Sh*t WTF... yon ang lumabas sa bibig ko.. it was the quote I sent to her a long long time ago, it was the day I started to realized that she was evading me, that we rarely see each other, I'll try not to deal about the quote, kasi nga I don't want to prolong the agony, tama na pero napatigil ako sa ginagawa ko eh and thinking what If?

Things still lingering on my mind..

What if, she was the one texted me that night...

What if, she wanted me to come back in her life?

Do you think she was the one texted me, or baka naman wala lang gusto nya lang i-forward ang message.

What do you think?

lesson afterwards...

2008-09-24T23:14:00.006+09:00

Lately, its been so hard for me to go on with my life, though I know its over. I just realized that being single is not about being alone, its not that you don't have somebody but its about making a definite and correct decisions after all you've gone through and I always bear that in my mind every time I fell into a melancholy mood.

wow!!! I never thought that I got this stupid and one sided feelings over... cheers!

One thing I've learned was that "never beg someone to stay beside you against their will" and thats so true. When we say love, it should be two people or both party feel the same way,

and its not one sided love affair, and if that's the situation, Let go! don't expect that things will be alright,
you kno why? kasi: anong ipaglalaban mo? isang pag-ibig na ikaw lang ang nakadama?

will you able to give everything to her for the sake of love? I know everyone will do just to let them stay.

what if she ask you about "Letting go" will you grant that simple thing?

I guess what we really need is that, we don't need to give 100% of our love to them, I think 50-50 is enough I mean 50% for her 50 % for your self, so that when love fail, you can easily pick yourself up from resentment, although your heart is shattered but still complete.

"we pass this way but only once therefore any good thing that we can do and any kindness that we can show lets do it now for we shall not pass this way again"

Leaving you soon

2008-09-20T18:14:00.004+09:00

Now things are not what they used to be, still waiting, hoping for us to be together, How stupid am I..
I am not really looking at the big picture, I guess we're not really meant for each other,

too much for hoping, wishing... enough is enough. we have to put an end to this love we thought no one would dare to destroy..

So I will make this last reminsce, for I will leave it all behind, finding a place to unwind, hoping things will be fine, It's time for me to release you in my heart, 3yrs of hoping, I guess it's enough.

So I have to face this world alone for now., til' someone fills the emptiness inside my heart of love, joy and everlasting love, and make her the one, I could tell my unbroken vow.

Leaving you soon , it is better that way, for you are fine in your life with him anyway.
I will continue on with my life without you, I know there's someone special in waiting for me too,

I'm just glad that you are making a progress with your life... I will too..

Pains of Parting

2008-09-17T11:28:00.004+09:00

How unpredictable life really is

No one has ever known to resist its flows
Bridging each one of us to unlikely pace
and always hurting deep down inside our losses

Why can't it be?
Why is there a Friend to say goodbye?
Why our memories intrude by time?

I was really hurt my friend
when all of a sudden, we parted our ways
I lost you!
when tears of loneliness, can't hold on
that's why my life change and run empty

Yes my friend
That's how I treasured our friendship
That's how sad I am to have you no more
I can't work it out much longer
It's getting harder.

Even in my dreams lost its magic to reach you
yet I know its over
To create our past memorable happiness
Is so easy to linger in my mind
Cause it's only out time that we find ceasing
But I have been continuously dreaming
That someday, somehow we can be together
cause I miss you

facts about fuck

2008-09-15T21:13:00.003+09:00

1. When a guy born, we were given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.

hmmmm I don't remember what I chose.

2. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Longing...

2008-09-13T17:11:00.006+09:00

It was really late that night,

Feeling empty, lonely, no one beside me.

In the dew with a full shout awakening,
pressing down the grasses
My loneliness pressing me down
while silent tears falling on its own.

I write your name...
In a faint starlight only stones gleam.
My thoughts long ago turned from you
but then you vanished without traces.

Suddenly at sunrise awake me..
I see none but only white fog rising..
Tears continue to fall when I knew I lost you..

I long to merge with the boundless dazzling far-away clouds in the sky
to comfort and soothe this loneliness because of you..

I see you rarely.. No more now..

Please let us meet.. My dear I miss you
I tried to pick myself closer
to breathe the air that you breath
to listen the hymn you crooned
to know why you refuse, do you?

Are you leaving me?
down the long and dusty roads?

When do you have time for me?
when do I know, that You're always there.
when do I need to tell myself
that I don't need you,
that I don't want you around..
for it's in you, a true Love I found...

I cried almost all the time,
I want you to know about that, but you're deaf!

when will be your eyes start staring at me
your mouth to speak..

You're the one giving me courage and strength to overcome obstacle.
You tell me not to quit, when I'm almost halfway there..
You hold my hands to let me feel,
that we will always be together no matter what

Your smile that brighten up my days
It simply lift my heart.

I want to tell you this..
I do like your crinkling eyes
They tell me "its alright"
I wish to bring you back
from where you stopped.

But all in uttered silence..

I am locked up in the dark room
I cried out... and shout
I miss you.. I miss you.. I miss you so much
when will you be with me?

I want to know,

Do you still love me?

because I love you so much..

(this is my entry for E[kwento]MO)

Arbitrary thoughts

2008-09-11T11:33:00.006+09:00

It was October 20th 2006 when you left for states,

Two days after my birthday,
I remember that vividly.
Tears fell!!
I just can't hide the feeling,
that its hurting me so much..
Deep inside, my heart beat so fast,
I'll try to be calm..
But then I tremble still with so much fear...

Fear of being alone...
Fear of losing someone that I love.. so much..

I'm so tired that I can't sleep
I'm so tired that almost every night
I hugged my pillow tight
I'm so tired that all I can do is hoping and wishing

and wanting you here beside me forever

Are you flirt?

2008-09-09T21:13:00.004+09:00

Do you have any idea How GUYS/GALS flirt?

A friend of mine forward this to me through email and Perhaps It will help you and I'm sharing this with you guys and gals....

HOW GUYS FLIRT:

1. He stares at you a lot.

2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )

3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you.

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school.

5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process.

7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.

8. You hung up on him. He called you back.

9. You were invited by him to a group outing.

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES, ect.)

HOW GIRLS FLIRT:

1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.

9. You catch her staring at you.

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.

12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? )

13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible.

Impracticable plan

2008-09-07T08:57:00.012+09:00

Last night while writing some stuff and thinking of what would be the best issue to tackle here, I was kinda confuse. and pause for a moment to imagine a possible sensible topic... kaso wala talaga pumasok sa isip ko eh.
It's my personal blog, so I realize I have to write what is/was happening to me or any unfortunate events or any future events.. it could be love hmmm (here we go again), pain, happiness, struggles and achievements.

after that...

I struggle of falling back into sleep, thoughts begins to occupy my mind.....
sad to say they are not happy thoughts and I'd like to think they are not bad either,
the truth is I dont really want to enterpret them in any way,

it's just that I feel sad..

I wonder why?

Lately, loneliness always hitting me up for no reason at all.
It means I don't have decent sleep almost everynight, so I spend a lot of time in blogging.

There comes a time when you are tired of giving meaning in many things.
Have you ever experience feeling alone in a crowd and find yourself wishing you are in another place in another time?

I find myself doing that a lot in recent weeks,

I wanted to see the ocean...
I wanted to run in an endless beach and wet my feet in gentle rolling water...

It's the best thing, playing in the ocean alone...
I wanted to hear the sea in its natural sound...

The lapping of the waves against the sand.. time is when there is nothing matters,
when you can just sit all day..

or do the things you like to do, never worry about the future or what do people thinks about you
when you can be yourself and treat life as a never ending adventure like a music born out of lullaby tune.

well, I will try to sleep, I will try to be calm,
I hope this thoughts will come true one of this days...

smile at me. tnx

The one that got away

2008-09-07T06:00:00.015+09:00

I don't really want to talk about love coz it's already overrated pero I can't deny that still right now I'm not moving on, the pain is still there embracing my heart with an open hand of anger...

and if only words and time can be turned back perhaps there will definitely be a BIG difference..

but then that's life, and we have to face it.

I don't know why I still have this feeling of anger, blaming everything to myself..

what did i do??? nagmahal lang naman ako ng totoo...

I did everything to save the realtionship.. pero wala...

and now.. I wanna scream, shout, throw away things.. I wanna CRY..

I want to CRY...CRY...CRY...

but I just CAN'T...

Keeping all these feelings inside, all bottled up and nowhere to go.. NOBODY CARES...

Leaving me stilled with brazened scars of utter confussion, outright frustration,

total REJECTION...

Nobody knows what I feel and How I feel...

Nobody seems to care...

I think I just have to push the pain and hurt everything all inside, AGAIN and AGAIN...

SMILE.. put a happy face...

as if nothing happens.....

maybe she doesn't deserve somebody like me...

The Danger of Perverted Anger

2008-09-04T18:22:00.006+09:00

Someone provoked you, someone close to your heart. You felt blood rushing through your head; your heart palpitates, You wanted to use strong language, shout and throw away things. It was anger that you felt...

Anger... not a dangerous as it is yet fatal when kept. How well do you handle your anger? Do you know what happens the moment you degide to let it pass? You're not throwing it as garbage, as you might think. You keep it down there. It stays in your system, greates poisons that will segretly ruin you emotionally, psychologically and later physically. What kinds of poison that drug addicts, alcoholics, reckless drivers or rapist in the system. It maybe that kind that nobody can notice, not even you. Yet there isn't much assurance that it won't harm you eventually.

Dr. Robin Describe about 20 poisons produced by perverted anger but I will just name a few.. the common ones if i may say:

Anxiety and Depression
These go side by side; the major poisons. These are sometimes caused by a recent problem, failure, loss of loved one and so on but a Big deposite of anger in your system (termed slush bank by Dr. Rubin) is the one sustaining such odd feelings. These will strike you anytime, anyday and just anywhere with a doom feeling that sometimes you bleed for no reasons.

Overeating, Oversleeping, Overworking
I sometimes notice that i take a lot of food when anger just passed me by. According to Dr. Rubin, some people would rather use their mouth in eating than expressing their anger.
Maybe that's why I find it so hard to slim down..
Other would sleep more than usual and make it a self-imposed anesthesia. This is to escape self-flagellation.
For some, burrowing their head to paperwork would serve the prupose (good for employees!)

Chronic Anticipation/Unhealthy regression
Too much worries for the future, even for tonight's date ot for the weekend's picnic, and dwelling painfully in the past are two signs that unexpressed anger has been polluting your thoughts.

Self-Sabotage
Are you prone to sickness, or accident? Do you have this forgetfulness problem (though you're still in a very young age?) Do you think that you don't deserve this or that you're just a nobody? well, fellows, you have this kind of poison in your body. Self-pity would eat you alive.

Blatant Blasting
People with this posison use vulgar words and they just love to insult people. They would appreciate a thing with a but in a sentence. " That dress is nice, but it doesn't fit you right..

Subtle-Sabotage
I identify myself with this type, a joker, an ice breaker, smiling person. Anger is kept pretending "It didn't affect me in anyway" look I'm still smiling." The great pretender that is, but when alone... just imagine it.

These poisons may not be directly caused by perverted anger. As mentioned earlier, the slush bank is the one sustaining them and making things even more complicated. These are reversible though; one should just recognize the type of poison present and accept that as an unhealty attitude over anger.I am a victim myself. I always had this "vacuum" inside me. Vacuum- for me is the best temr to use to describe that feeling of emptiness which you can never explain why it exist. I have been ignoring it through subtle-sabotage but I really can't escape it.
Everytime I get in touch with myself, it's still there and it really sucks. I ended up feeling confused, ran out of energy and finally gave-up. It was a painful experience. And this I am sharing with you so you maybe healed as well and not wait for the time when you will spend much effort , suffer much pain and lose yourself.

It's so ironic that Christmas is fast approaching and I am here promoting anger. But don't you think I am revealing what true love is? Unconciously, we all have this fear of expressing our anger because we do not want to hurt people especially our loved ones. We are so afraid to lose them, yet we are not aware that keeping that anger would poison us and our relationship with others. We eventually will lose our loved ones as we permanently lose ourselves. So are we really expressing love when we don't express anger? We just prevent a momentarily pressure but we actually creat ea deeper wound in our hearts, in our live. Loving doesn't mean showing only the good side of you. It is faking when you do so. Love exist where there is honesty. Love understand and so we must not also stop somebody from showing his anger towards us but rather accpet it. Let us cultivate a healthy anger without violence or bitterness.

Anger, let us remember, is a feeling needed to be expresses and not to be kept.

(inspired by: The Angry Book (Theodore Isaac Rubin M.D)

Bawal na Pag-ibig

2008-09-03T04:00:00.010+09:00

Gano nga ba kasarap ang isang bawal na pag-ibig?

Ngunit pano nga ba mapipigilan ito?

Hanggang saan, Hanggang kailan maitatago ang isang bawal na Pag-ibig?

Pano nagawa ng isang puso ang magmahal ulit habang may minamahal ito?

Sino nga ba ang sisisihin?

Sa bawat ligaya at pananabik na nadarama ng isa't isa habang magkasama, masasabi mo ba na ito ay isang kasalanan?

ito ba ay matatawag nating isang Pag-ibig o isang Libog lamang?

O hayaan nalang natin silang maging masaya habang may ibang tao na niloloko nila?

Matatawag ba nating isang panloloko ang pag-ibig na nararamdaman ng bawat isa?

Ano ba ang dapat sundin? ang nararamdaman ng isang tao o ang iisipin ng ibang tao kung sakaling lumabas ang isyong ito.

for a change...

2008-08-30T16:52:00.011+09:00

Sabi nga nila "The only thing that constant in this world is change" kaya wala me magawa sa sarili ko kundi mag iba ng anyo.. And hirap kasi i-manage ng hair ko kasi wavy na sya paghumaba, kaka badtrip, dati naman straight ang buhok ko, ng nag college ako dun na nagstart magkulot buhok ang pangit... i hate it...

Look at me.. may buhok pa ako dati.. dahil gusto ko mag iba ng itsura ito ang ngyari.

the worst thing i've ever did in my life.. huhuhu

ito na me ngayon ang pangit.. kala ko ang pag che-change kong image will look me better, hindi pala, kaya abot langit ang sobrang panghihinayang ko at sobrang pagsi-sisi ang ginawa ko, nagmuka me tuloy balot.. arrrggggghhhh

Pero ok lang.. alam ko naman, Deep inside me, i'm a good guy nakksss
and that what matters most... heheheh

some good things never last

2008-08-29T14:14:00.003+09:00

I was about to play audition yesterday kaso nag papatch pa, so while waiting na matapos ang patching nag net muna ako at least makapag friendster, I suddenly notice the girl besides me crying, she was talking to someone sa YM, her BF for seven years, the reason why kung bakit ko alam, you know it already the attitude of being a Filipino, kunwari nag sesearch pero yong kabilang mata nakatingin sa kabilang computer, out of curiosity kaya mo ginagawa, hehehehe i'm such a bad person, peeping at others pc and trying to know what was going on.

Why the hell they broke-up? for 7 yrs being with each other and all of a sudden bigla nalang nawawala ang isa't isa? 7yrs isn't really enough to make the relationship strong, what could be the reason of parting?

is it third party?..

is it because some people fall out of love?..

is it because you belong to someone else and the right one comes along? kaya basta mo na lang iwan ang present love dahil she's not the one for you? How could you tell that shes not the right one for you, in fact your sharing love to her for 7yrs,and its the fucking lame excuses i've ever heard pag ganun man.

How could you tell that the girl you've just met is the right one?

or is it because some good things never last..........

i miss davao

2008-08-28T14:05:00.005+09:00

Last night while talking to my old friends in davao over the phone, I suddenly miss Davao, its been 6 years that i havent visited the place after graduation, I'm from Butuan city pero i enjoyed a lot in Davao during my college days of course, sa davao ako namulat sa mundong makasalanan... nakssss

It was in Davao when i had my first *tot* lahat ng kagaguhan ko nagsimula sa davao kaya ganun ko nalang ka miss ang davao.. It was in Davao when i started working my very first job and i got kicked out hahahaha ganito kasi yon share ko lang.

I'd work in Jollibee as a Counter, of course front liner ang lolo mo, one day isang araw opener me, pag open pa lang sa store meron agad pumasok na lalaki, suplado, medyo ok lang maykaya, syempre as a counter opening spiel agad:

Me: Good Morning sir welcome to jollibee, ano po yong order nila..

Customer: yah.. regular french fries nga.

(during that time regular french fries was just like P17 pesos, so ako naman kuha agad kelangan mabilis ka at bawal papetix-petix..)

Me: sir yong bill po nila P17 pesos anything that you would like to add sir?

Customer: no! that would be all..

Me: ok.. P17 pesos po sir..

(Biglang si customer nag abot ng P1000 bill, ok lang sya first customer ko)

Me: wala ho ba kayong smaller bill sir kasi kakaopen lang namin tsaka wala pa kaming change..

Customer: aba di ko na problema yon, problema nyo na..

(sabi ko sa isip ko, aba gago to ah.. yabang naman nito.. sa sobrang inis ko ito ang sinabi ko sa kanya)

Me: sir ano po ba bibili po ba talaga kayo ng fries o sadyang nag papachange lang kayo..

Customer: gago ka ha, san yong manager nyo..

(lumapit si manager sa counter, kasi nga nag aamok na si sir)

Manager: Sir may problema hu ba?

Customer: Gago yong counter nyo ha, tanggalin nyo nga yan..

ayon di umalis si sir hanggat di me matanggal.. wawa naman ako mangiyak-ngiyak na me sa sobrang takot.. hahahaha
same day pina-uwi ako tinanggal nga nila ako without even asking the situation, sabagay may point sila customer service issue daw eh... waahhhhhh

natatawa nalng ako pag naisip ko yon hahaha

Pag minamalas nga naman...

2008-08-23T20:06:00.004+09:00

Hay.. Just like to share some things that happend to me last night, Sobrang napahiya ako at pinagtatawanan pa ng mga kasama ko sa trabaho, Alam nyo naman ang buhay sa call center ang gabi ginagawang umaga, at ang umaga ginagawang gabi.

Ang ngyari kasi aug 22 friday night gumimik ako at walang tulog at ang pasok ko 3:30 am, sabi ko "ok lang kaya pa to, sana di me antokin sa work" ng papasok na me sa work at mag start ng mag receive ng mga calls kasi nga inbound kami, around 6:00am after we had our first break, dinalaw na me ng antok at minsan naka idlip me ng cguro mga 5 mins at marami ng mga abandon calls, unfortunately nahuli me ng TL ko at ginising ako, napag sabihan ako, sabi ko naman "sori po talaga its just that i don't have decent sleep last night" binigyan pa nya ako ng kape para mawala ang antok ko, di ko talaga nakayanan, ang ginawa ko nakasandal me sa cubicle di ko napansin bumalik pala TL ko nahuli na naman ako at ng ginising nya ako sabay sabi nya "ano ba yan owen tulog ka na naman," the moment na nagising ako at narinig ko boses nya sabay bigla kong sabi "Lord sana tulungan mo ako sa buhay ko, salamat po, amen" sabi nya" Kunwari ka pa nagpre-pray huling hulig ka na nga sa akto, sabi ko naman " hindi po, talagang nag pre-pray ako". sobrang tawa ng mga kasama ko....

Ayon nagalit si TL pinull-out ako sabay issue ng Citation, one day suspension- sleeping during working hours..arayyy

The whole day na badtrip ako at nawala tuloy bigla ang antok ko sa kakaisip.. and the worst thing nabansagan akong The sleeping saint... at santo sa tulugan.. putchak na buhay to..

Love at First sight?

2008-08-13T15:17:00.004+09:00

How is it possible to feel so much for a stranger? For a person that you’ve just met? Is that how powerful love is?

Is there such a thing as LOVE at FIRST SIGHT? The question that everyone ask when they feel it when they laid their eyes to that person, just like me, when I saw her.

It was all started in citi, a simple hi and hello never thought it would create a feelings in my heart, something that you just can’t explain and started asking your self, is it love?

Everyday my feeling gets stronger that I would love to go to work just to see her, just to complete my day, I made a lot of sales just for her to notice me but later on I realize at the end of the day someone owned her love, someone already fill the special place in her heart, the love I wished I would have. (sigh)

so sad that I couldnt even told her how much I feel for her,
so sad that all I could do is just turn away and hide this feelings
so sad that she is about to get married.

Even in simple things like this I could convey to you, I’m thankful that for one in my life, I never thought I had fallen in love- and its love at first sight.

my destiny... my soulmate

2007-08-12T19:52:00.001+09:00

I have always known that deep inside... there was someone else I was waiting for... I always felt that there was somethin... Incomplete with my every day life Too much doubt... Too much pain... All these i have mastered All these i have become bitter of, Not knowing that in the future, You will come to my life... You made me whole... You made me bring back, The real me who was hiding behind the terror of what i used to be and what i have become, Foolish enough to let someone change me... Yet you came and carried me back To where i should belong... Where i should go on... Wrapped around in your arms... Being loved by you... Made complete because of you... Starving for the love of you.. Living for you... Needing and wanting to be just where you are...my soulmate...

something new

2007-06-28T11:02:00.000+09:00

It's been such a long time since I took time to grab a pen and a paper to write something about my life and how things change my points of view this past few months. I really need to be decisive in everything, in everywway now that I started to work in a call center environment.

People around me were damn good about making decisions in their lives, I never thought that in just a blink of an eye my dreams seems to come true. Im so happy, really really happy that finally some sort of new things add some sugar in my daily life. I feel excited with the life I had now, I have someone to call on my own, I have some friends who's there whenever things might go wrong, I have God to call when I'm needed Him most.

How can I ask for more... well i think I just have to pray that God would show His path should lead me to a better life and makes me a different person, something that my parents can boast me and make proud of me.

Guys thank you so much for being there for I love...

Euphoric Experienced

2007-05-13T20:25:00.000+09:00

I knew this thing would come, that finally guys we had graduated from training. But I never thought along the way I would realized I've already miss you. I don't know how to tell you guys how I love you, each and every moment that we had always made me cry, till now.

I am invigorated and full of hope that i/we will soon have the chance to make mark and make name in the world that we're about to start. This would be a tough challeges now for us. and i know we can do it, we were trained to become the best and far better than the others. Guys, it requires a huge amount and a dose of sacrifices to be on the top. It's something that we are willing to do for I know that all our effort will pay off in time.

Guys, we know that it will start from clean slate and its just a matter of focus and being assertive. We have to show to them guys that we are different, that we should not be bother of difficult things, and we may last longer than what we imagined.

Its our life and we have to do something for ourself not just for our own fullfilment but for the person who inspired us to move a greater heights.. and thats Ms. Malou.

Ms. Malou....

I know I have always been the weakest person in the class, if you could only knew that Every words that you uttered made me a better person, that I was able to gain strength, my heart beat faster and faster with eagerness and surpass everything, and I love you for that. I just can't forget the day you made me cry, it was really an embarrasing moment for me.. hehehehe

To our Mentor, Ms Christine and Sir Bong..

In behalf of Wave 11B, Thank you so much for the lesson and thoughts the you shared to us.

We will not forget you guys...

To my batch WAVE 11B

You're The BEst Friends I Ever Had... I lOve You...

visit our pics also:

http://www.zhel04.multiply.com

way back into love...

2007-04-29T03:08:00.000+09:00

I just really love this song, From Music and Lyrics starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant.

Ive been living with a shadow over head

Ive been sleepin with a cloud above my bed

Ive been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past,

I just cant seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just incase I ever need them again someday

Ive been setting aside time,

to clear a little space in the cornners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I cant make it through without a way back into

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

Ive been searching but I just dont see the signs

I know that its out there

Theres got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not just somebody to get me through the night

I could use some direction, and I'm open to your suggestions

Chrous

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I cant make it through without a way back into love

and If I open my heart again I guess

Im hopin you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I dont know if its realor

if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I cant make it through without a way back into love

and If I open my heart to you

Im hopin you'll show me what to doand if you help me to start again

you know that I'll be there for u in the end

Is this Love...

2007-03-30T12:49:00.000+09:00

Lately I'm having trouble defining the feelings I have here inside..

I think I need more time to think it over if its Love.

If its really love,

then,

is this the reason why I don't have decent sleep and it's been a weeks already.

I wanna know why?

I'm craving to see you more often,

I'm longing to kiss your lips,

I'm dying to hug you tight.

I need you here beside me.

Is it Love? Is this Love?

Please tell me.. I wanna know...

to my friend pyem

2007-03-22T19:32:00.000+09:00

I wonder if your thinking of me now?

My friend and I are so far apart.

I wonder when you'll come to me?

I can't hardly wait to see you my friend.

how I wish you were with me now,

my friend my heart so sad I need you now.

You call me and I ask,

"When will you be home?"

"Soon enough my friend," you said.

And then we say our good bye's again.

My friend your so very far apart.

I miss you, how could I ever let you go?

My friend,

we're millions miles away

I'll wait for you as night waits for day.

My thoughts are always with you

even your so very far away.

My friend I'll still wait for you...

and if you ever change your mind

I still, I will wait for you.

nostalgia...

2007-03-14T17:02:00.000+09:00

Why I can't love the person I love?
When I'm also capable of loving
Why do I have to suffer so much pain
sacrifice my feelings just to set you free.

I have always been there for you
not because you asked me to
My feelings for you is an endless love
But why can't you notice it even just for a single day

For all the pain He made to make you cry
I'm the one who comforts you every single night
my broken heart wished you will never part
still I'm waiting to notice my weeping heart

now that you're gone, my hope burried with loneliness
now that you're gone, my world filled with sadness
what hurts most is that nobody left
my life now is nothing but an infinite grief
lost in the vast abysses of space and time

some people...

2007-03-04T17:57:00.000+09:00

People tend to dismiss me for a lot of things coz im a different person from someone else's eyes; either im a snob, evasive or just a wolf in sheeps clothing. I guess you just have to dig deep to know my principles and ideals and see for yourself. There are people I enjoy having meaningless conversations with, but people who delve deep are rewarded with my trust and loyalty. I'm a bitchy-bastardy kind of friend coz sometimes I ask simple things in complicated ways, but I'm very sincere and quite sentimental to those I consider as a true friend (and I expect the same from anyone i call friend). I don't feel the need to sell my personality to live up to peoples expectations. I had my fair share of detractors (ganon talaga pag medjo maapeal -- you get loads of attention, course, I don't expect that they could relate and I don't expect everybody to like me. ^_^)
I know they should be treated with patience and understanding and all, but sorry, not from me. xenxa na, I don't work well with quidnuncs and their below sea-level personalities.

God bless them na lang. Im no longer a bibliophile, or maybe I'm not as spontaneous as I used to be, but do stick around -- I might actually say something good from time to time. ^_^..

Reminiscing Love...

2007-02-27T16:06:00.000+09:00

I walked beneath the stars last night
The moon was full and shining bright
The breeze blew softly through the trees
And from my heart came the memories
Of a love I knew so long ago
It brought an ache to my heart to know
That you are gone

your arms around me held me tight
As I stood wrapped in your love that nigh
your lips on mine, our bodies press'd
So close together, so much in love
No one could say it was wrong or right
By mortal man or in God's sight
Now that your gone

I walk alone with all my dreams
My way of life or so it seems
I walk along in the moonlit night
And view the past with shadowed sight
Not always just the way it's seen
But mostly how it might have been -
if you were not gone.

anger management...

2007-01-27T16:22:00.000+09:00

Anger is a natural and occasionally healthy emotion but, like most things in life, it must be experienced in moderation and kept in check. Anger is a great motivator and can lead you to defend yourself or your interests when needed. But, if you let it get out of control, however, the downside of anger is that it affects most aspects of your life. Your career and your personal relationships hinge on the professionalism and kindness you display, so your anger can be destructive by showcasing your more childish and uncontrolled aspects. You may see your bursts of anger as assertions of your masculinity or strength, but they are harmful to others and the relationship they have with you.