The existence of my being

I seek simple things in life; the stars and the night sky make me happy and I am awed by their silent violence...when I look up to the heavens while lying on the grass, I imagine myself falling into an abyss of infinite space and I am engulfed totally by the darkness...but when I am with someone I love while looking at the stars, I see something different, I feel different also...the stars suddenly begin to smile and they are in unison in wishing me happiness, they sing their songs to me and whisper good wishes for me and they send me hope...the darkness would no longer engulf but would rather embrace me, comfort me, sing lullabys to me and I am comforted in my heart, I become contented, I become happy, quietly jubilant...that's what a heart can do to me...a heart that beats for me and a heart who's main joy is to see me happy....the grass feels cool and becomes like a bed made of the softest feathers, the earth would no longer be dirty to lie upon, it would be soft and soothing and it too cradles me in its warmth...the night rejoices with me, the wind too and the heavens and of course the stars....oh how good it is to be in love!, to spend the quiet night with the one i love....but it's all so different when Im alone lying on the grass.......
Im very tired, really really tired of trying to find someone I can really trust...
There are only two things that are very powerful in the world, the Love and Death. Ive been waiting for them to come in my life, I dont know which one to come first, theres no reason to live after all if theres no Love, and I would rather to die if Love comes in my life. Death might lose its power but Love still remain Forever...

Irony of Love

How i wish i could kiss you like you did to others, I'm not like him nor other person. But wishing to be like a person who i never wanted to be. My heart beating am to fears. My tears want to fall but not for my sorrow. My mind want to say goodbye but my eyes wont close and yet leave the word hello. My feet want to walk while my hair want to run. My nose want to leave a mark while my fingerstips unmark.

Fall the truth and hug the lie pretend like a priest and believe like a saint. Worship the evil and marry with the angels, swim in the fire and feel the cold water flows in your vein. Listen to silent and die into peace. Fly to the land and climb the sky. Twit like a bee and buzz, like a bird live the sky but don't ever leave the trees.

Feel the wind on the outerspace and live with planets. Say ytou hi to the blackhole within and learnedthe fatal truth and yet pain is in love while happiness is waiting to be not be love.

My Best Friend....

Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, there lived a fourth grader boy who would follow this route to school everyday: He has to cross the rugged
plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are recklessly driving to and from.

Once past this highway, the boy would take a short cut, passing by the Church every morning just to say Hi to God, and faithfully say his, "Magandang umaga po" in Bicol dialect. He was faithfully being watched by a Priest who was happy to find innocence so uplifting in the
morning,

"Kamusta, Andoy? Papasok ka na?"

"Opo padre ... "he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to Andoy.

"From school...", he advised "Do not cross the highway, you can pass through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of the
road...that way I can see that you are home safe...."

"Thank you father ... "
"Why don't you go home ... why do you stay in
this church right after school?"

"I just want to say 'Hi' to my friend, God," and the priest would leave the boy to spend time beside the altar, talking to himself, but the priest was hiding behind the altar to listen to what this boy has to say to his heavenly FATHER.

"You know my math exam was pretty bad today, but I did not cheat although my seatmate is bullying me for notes... I ate one cracker and drank my water, Itay had a bad season and all I can eat is this cracker.

Thank you for this! I saw a poor kitten who was hungry and I know how he feels so I gave my last cracker to him ... funny but I am not that hungry.
Look, this is my last pair of slippers ...I may have to walk barefoot next week, you see this is about to be broken... but it is okay....at least I am
still going to school.... Some say we will have a hard season this month, some of my classmates have already stopped going to school .... please help them get to school again, please God?

...Oh, you know, Inay hit me again, it is painful, but I know this pain will pass away, at least I still have a mother.... God, you want to see my
bruises? I know you can heal them.... Here... here and .... oh ...blood ...I guess you knew about this one huh? Please don't be mad at Inay, she is
just tired and she worries for the food in our table and my schooling that is why she hits us....Oh, I think I am in love ... there's this pretty girl in my class, her name is Anita ... do you think she will like me? Anyway, at least I know you will always like me, I don't have to be anybody just to please you, you are my very best friend! Hey your birthday is two days from now!!! Aren't you
excited? I am! Wait till you see, I have a gift for you ..... but it is a surprise! I hope you will like it! Oooops, I have to go ..." then he stood up and calls out, "Padre, padre, I am finished talking to my friend .... youcan accompany me to the other side of the road now"

This routine happens everyday. Andoy never fails. Father Agaton shares this every Sunday to the people in his church because he has not seen a very pure faith and trust in God, a very positive look at negative situations.

One Christmas day, Father Agaton was sick so he could not make it in the Church, he was sent to the hospital. The Church was left to 4 manangs who would chant the rosary in 1000 miles per hour, would not smile and would always find fault in what you do, they were also very well versed in cursing if you irritate them! They were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary when Andoy, coming from his Christmas party,playfully dashed in.

"Hello God! I ......"

"P----!! (a curse) bata ka!! Alam mo nang may nagdadasal!! Alis!!"

Poor Andoy was so terrified, "Where's Father Agaton? He is supposed to help me cross the street ... and to be able to cross the street I will
have to pass by the back door of this church ...not only that, I have to greet Jesus. It is His birthday, I have a gift right here.... " Just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, the manang pulled
his shirt and threw him out of the church. "Susmaryosep!!! (does the sign of the cross fervently) Alis kang bata ka, kung hindi matatamaan ka!!!

So the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the road in front of the church. He crossed. A fast moving bus came in.

There was a blind curve. The boy was protecting his gift inside his shirt, so he was not looking. There was so little time. Andoy died on the spot. A lot of people crowded the poor boy, the body of a lifeless young boy ...

Suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man in a pure white shirt and pants, a face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full of tears... He came and carried
the boy in His arms. He was crying. Curious bystanders nudged the man in white, and asked,

"Excuse me sir, are you related to this child?

Do you know this child?"

The man in white, His face mourning and in agony, looked up and answered,

"He was my best friend .... " was all he said. He took the badly wrapped gift in the bloody chest of the lifeless boy, and placed it near His heart.

He stood up and carried the boy away and they both disappeared in sight.

The crowd was curious ...

On Christmas Eve, Father Agaton learned of the shocking news. He visited the house, and wanted to verify about the man in white. He consulted the
parents of Andoy.

"How did you know that your son died?"

"A man in white brought him here." sobbed the mother. "What did he say?" The father answered, "He did not say anything. He was mourning. We do not know him and yet he was very lonely about our son's death, as if he knew our son very well. But there was something peaceful and unexplainable about him. He gave me my son, and then he smiled peacefully. He brushed my son's hair away from his face and kissed him on his forehead, then he whispered something..."

"What did he say?"

"He said to my boy..." the father began, "Thank you for the gift ... I will see you soon ... you will be with me..." and the father of the boy continued, "and you know for a while, it felt so wonderful ... I cried, but I do not know why....all I know is I
cried tears of joy .... I could not explain it, Father, but when that man left, something peaceful came over me, I felt a deep sense

of love inside ... I could not explain the joy in my heart, I knew my boy is in heaven now but...tell me, Father, who is this man that my son talks to everyday in your church, you should know because you are always there ... except at the time of his death ......"Father Agaton suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with

trembling knees, he murmurred, " ... He was talking to no one ..... but .. GOD...."