Reminiscing.....

I was about to write something here, you know to update my blog and supposedly i'm going to share the things that had happend to me for a week, I just had moved from my new apartment and got a new job Medical Representative, and i used to listen upbeat song everytime i need a "lifting" of the mood but suddenly in my first paragraph of writing, the music in radio had switch swiftly into mellow and here they played "Just when I needed you most" and the version from Dolly Parton.. sh*ttt its my fave artist and here we go it reminds me of someone, back when i was in high school.

I used to sing this song accompanied by guitar (hahahaha as if i know how to play guitar...) well a little yah i know, but the problem is, i've already forgot this person but why everytime i heard those kind of songs it reminds me. Actually nothing is interesting about that person its just that we had an intimate friendship.. (take note of the word intimate) btw while writing and thingking of that person made smile and kilig hahahahah landi ko.

This person is sweet, caring and everytime we're together we always had a special time to visit church (naksss naman) yah grabe tong best friend ko na to i dont even hide a single secret everything was told and same thing with my friend.. hayyy sarap talaga mag reminisce ng old memories its really worth to keep and wish i could see my friend because its been 10 years already and i dont have any info about my friend..

hay naku miss ko na tuloy sya.... (bitin ba?)

Far and away

It's been a quite sometimes that i haven't seen my family, and i've been working hard here in manila for quite years hoping that one day i could have stable job and to have a career that i can boast whenever i'll go home. I am very ambitious and trying to get everything what i want in my life, living alone to prove to them that i am independent and i can manage my life. I've been selfish and endulge my self so much with money and turn out to be huge mistake and later on a big regret in my life.

Nothing i can say after all but a big sigh now i've been wanting to go home to be with my family but how? I already don't have enough money. Almost everynight i hug my pillow tight wishing to feel the presence of my family. I couldn't even stop my tears falling slowly. and i realize i coudn't bare to live with out them. I know its my fault, I just want to make a difference.

hayyyyy.... so much in pain...

Loving and Losing

I knew last night was very different, and many of my fears have now shown their fruits. Ive seen them grow on me, and blossom one by one carefully, painfully. And its more than a bitter pill to swallow, when you realize that the one thing you fear, is now concretely real, making sadness even more vividly piercing. Imagine when the very person who shields you and supports you, who makes you look forward to every morning and every goodnight, who lends you strength and gives new meaning to every experience, who can make all painful steps a joy or make you wait a lifetime if only to see each other once again, who can make every moment a beautiful dream and every dream the death of harsh reality, that the very person who is one of your biggest reasons for living no longer loves you-- and especially knowing that not anyone, not even (and most of all) you, can ever save the heart that had stopped beating. (Not to mention that some people, who you once thought would understand you best, are just glad to see it all end.)

If this pain could only be heard, it could probably make the whole world deaf. And when it rings across all oceans, and every mountain, echoing for all time, to reach every heart that has loved and lost, they would understand me. If each pound of sadness would bring a tear, it will rain gloomily for days on end. But the world would take comfort in each drop of sincerity, and revel delicately to mirror my unbridled promise.

Once again, I had my heart got broken. And my soul has once again gone empty and blank. A clean slate to paint my life once again, but with a heart who remembers each drop of blood that I had shed for the one person who still holds great value in my life; in my hand a penny to take chances at wishing, and in the other a light of hope.

But now, I am not ready to risk my penny into the well, for I do not know what I would wish for. And I still cannot see hope, for I have closed my eyes trying to see the fading dreams once again. I still cannot fully accept that I have awaken to see this love end.