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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Loving and Losing


I knew last night was very different, and many of my fears have now shown their fruits. Ive seen them grow on me, and blossom one by one carefully, painfully. And its more than a bitter pill to swallow, when you realize that the one thing you fear, is now concretely real, making sadness even more vividly piercing. Imagine when the very person who shields you and supports you, who makes you look forward to every morning and every goodnight, who lends you strength and gives new meaning to every experience, who can make all painful steps a joy or make you wait a lifetime if only to see each other once again, who can make every moment a beautiful dream and every dream the death of harsh reality, that the very person who is one of your biggest reasons for living no longer loves you-- and especially knowing that not anyone, not even (and most of all) you, can ever save the heart that had stopped beating. (Not to mention that some people, who you once thought would understand you best, are just glad to see it all end.)

If this pain could only be heard, it could probably make the whole world deaf. And when it rings across all oceans, and every mountain, echoing for all time, to reach every heart that has loved and lost, they would understand me. If each pound of sadness would bring a tear, it will rain gloomily for days on end. But the world would take comfort in each drop of sincerity, and revel delicately to mirror my unbridled promise.

Once again, I had my heart got broken. And my soul has once again gone empty and blank. A clean slate to paint my life once again, but with a heart who remembers each drop of blood that I had shed for the one person who still holds great value in my life; in my hand a penny to take chances at wishing, and in the other a light of hope.

But now, I am not ready to risk my penny into the well, for I do not know what I would wish for. And I still cannot see hope, for I have closed my eyes trying to see the fading dreams once again. I still cannot fully accept that I have awaken to see this love end.

1 comment:

snglguy said...

As someone who's been in and out of this thing called love countless times, and had been through a bad marriage, I can tell you this. It is OVERRATED.

Cheer up man, having your heart broken isn't the end of the world. I used to think like that too but I realized I was just fooling myself.

There's more to life than just loving someone. And I can tell you this: DO NOT BE A SLAVE OF LOVE.

Just my two cents. :-)

And oh btw, thanks for dropping by my blog.