Thursday, December 07, 2006

missing you...

hey guys.. its been awhile.. I've been really busy lately and its been a month haven't visited my blog. Im sorry guys if I wasn't able to visit your blog. Ngayon Balik na naman me kasi Holiday na ang haba ng basyon namin..... heheheh and exited na me uuwi sa province namin. miss yah

Friday, November 03, 2006

missing you...

Sometimes there are no words,
only shoulder to lean on,
hands to hold onto and Hugs to
comfort ME...
I feel the emptiness inside me for the past days..
I miss blogging, I miss you guyz..

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

look a like?

what do you think about this guys...

sa tingin nyo, sinong artista mejo kamukha ko..
wala lng, at least macompare ko man lang sarili ko sa artista..
just for fun guys... walang magawa eh..

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

wishing, hoping and thanking...

I wish I could figure this out or what even to write about after 25 years in our world, My life is filled with so much doubt And I can never tell you what about, there is still a lot of things I want to know the real existence about me, the truth..

So much things in mind, so much question needs to answere. I know time will come I will uncover the truth, For now, I just wanna say Thank You to God for giving me another year in this world to search the answers of my questions.

Thank you God! I hope and I wish I will find the answer, I know you're always there beside me. You're my strength, life and Friend.

Thanks guys for the Birthday Greetings.....

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

do not let go of me...

Now that you are here, I will have no fears. and your love has come to rescue me. From an old love that could not last, she is now gone, she's a part of my past. You came to me at troubling times, You held me, consoled me and enpowered me with a love so devine. That beyond a shadow of a doubt I know for sure, You are my second chance at love, my only cure!

Second chances are not often found,And now you are my partner, my sweety, my lover and friend,This time its for keeps, our love will never end. For our love is planted on solid ground. I just wish love would never betrayed us.

Look at us now.. binded with true love. Never let me go, never give up with me. coz I will hold you, Hug you, I will never let you Go. I Love you.

Thank God I have you...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

It's mah Birthday....

Way back in elementary I asked my mom where did they got my name Owen mom replied "because you were born in October so we decided to get the first letter of the month O," so i end up like Owen..

I'm turning 25 on Oct. a week after. I'm getting old but still don't know what to do with my life, I could make my own decisions..

What do you think guys.. Is it the good age for me to settle down? and I promised myself that before i will have turned 30, my baby girl would already have a Mom to nurture and care for her.

Mahabang -Habang inoman na naman to... BTW I dunno what to do to become serios with my life. The only problem If I'm going to settle fown I'm not prepared finacially, emotionally yes.

Life will still go on... It's mah Birthday.. hehehe Disco inom to.. hehehe (joke)

Saturday, September 30, 2006

this time i'll be sweeter.....

I just wanna say Thank you to those poeple who helped me and shared their thoughts. It was really hard for me to face reality. We've already talked about what had happend and we fogive each other and I know that I also have my shortcomings.

Funny to say but we're back in each others arms again hahaha and that's what makes me happy when I'm with someone whom I love most. Nothing can compare the happiness she gave to me. She makes my heart smile and she's the only person, the only reason that makes my life go round and round.

She texted me while writing this entry:

" and if you ever change your mind I still,
I will love you "
Hayyy Sarap mabuhay when someone loves you.... I love you baby...

To: Dennis,Alma, Jeff, Jer, Gregg, Paul, Banana, lani, fiel and to everybody who shared their thoughts A big Thank you.. I know my blog seems to be emotional but then I love sharing or asking help to anybody who doesn't know me. Thanks for being there pals.. *hugs*

If I Believe
By: Patti Austin
If I believed in paradise I'd swear I must be there
I'd swear I must be there right now with you
If I believed in miracles I'd know that one was happening to me
But if I don't believe in paradise
Then miracles aren't real
Then someone tell me what is this I feel
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I can't deny
if I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there
If I believed in magic spells
It all would be so clear
'Cause magic spells must have brought you here
If I could see the future
I'd see if you and I were meant to be
But I dont know any magic
And tomorrow's just a dream
But something in this fantasy is real
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I cant deny
If I believed in paradise I'd swear I'm there
I'm there
I'm there
If I believed.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

i hate the world today... bullshittt...

It was around 6:00 in the morning when I arrived at the house from work, tired and very sleepy I saw my baby girl sleeping so I didn't wake her up, when I laid down, I heard her phone beep and someone send her a message. Its not really my intention to read that message and I don't pay too much attention to her phone because I trust her and I have faith in her.

When accidentally I press the OK to open the message, it was a number only, no names and what shocked me is that the messgae goes like this "mahal galit ka ba?" and 1 text came then i opened it same number that says "mahal may pasok ka ba, aga mong nag txt ah" Tang ina ano to lokohan.. after all.. now i realized she was cheating on me since naging kami. putchak naman to.. may pacelebrate pa kami ng 1 yr anniversary. I hurriedly wake her up and ask her about the text, she can't explain.. ito na nahuli na....

Guys i really don't know what to do. Do I have to listen to her explaination or break her up.
I need your help pls... im so down.. badtrip, parang gusto kong pumatay ng tao...

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Tinge of Hope...

Lately I've been fighting things, fixing problems and rediscovering Hope. It was too lazy for me to make my life more exciting. I went to church prayed for my family and for everyone around me. Day after, it seems like things were getting worsted and I feel like quitting, ending my life with a sharp knife, I don't wanna suffer or bothered with problems. I don't wanna be loaded with trials. Life seems too unfair, why some people live their life so much great and everything is given.

Yesterday a friend of mine texted and invited me to have dinner in his place, when I arrived he approaced me and went to have dinner, at the middle of coversation,

he ask me if Hows my life, I said "hmmm everything is doing well"

he said " No you're not ok and whats with the hmmm"

I really didnt know why some people can read my mind and tell you some surprising idea, and you know what, he even insist. I didn't confirm to him the whole things, but he proved that everything he said is true.

When I'm about to leave he told me "There's still Hope" just have faith to God and he hugged me and when I arrived in my place its like that somebody took my burdens in my heart. "smile"

I believe that God won't answer your prayers right away.

He will going to use someone like your friends, strangers or anybody in this world as instrument to whoever need His help.

Monday, September 04, 2006

when death approaches...

Last night I really had a terrible nightmare, my father visit in my dreams and its like I can't move and i tried to scream but no one hear me. I really don't have any idea why i came up with this thing, maybe its because I've only visited my father's grave once. but i hope he'll understand me, I'm here in manila and I'm working for his family he once left..

I miss him so much if I could turn back time probably I would spend a lot of time to him and treat him wherever he wants to go. I miss him like every morning he always played Beatles music its actually our favorite band. I miss him like we used to sing together "across the universe", "the long and winding road".

I miss him like we used to play "tong 8s" and "Pusoy dos" and of course he was a good player when it comes to Chess, he made it to the top one in his work before.

I miss him a lot and I realize that I love him so much more now the he's gone. I wish I could say to him the word "I love you" but i know its really really too late for me, for my entire life I never say that word to him. only if he could read my mind and feel the beat of my heart, and he will know how much I love him.

Sana kahit dito man lang masabi ko "Dad I love you so much and i miss you a lot"...
here's a song for you dad, palagi natin tong kinakanta..

Long and winding road..
for may dad

The long and winding road
That leads, to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me rehe
Lead me to your door
The wild and windy night
That's the rain, washed away
Has left a pool of tears, crying for the day
Why leave me standing road
Let me know the way
Many times I've been alone
A many times I've cried
And anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried
But still they lead me back
To the long, and winding road
You left me standing here, a long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door
But still they lead me back
To the long, and winding road
You left me standing here, a long long time ago
Don't keep me waiting here
Lead me to your door.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

First Year Anniversary....

We just turned one year with my baby last Aug. 22, 2006 and I wasn't able to write in my blog because I had a lot of things to do but our celebration was great.

To my baby:

"Everyday I'm thankful I have you in my life. There's nothing I wish more that being with you everyday waking ours of it. I don't want to live in regrets. I am loving you with all that I am"

Baby we've been through a lot of sacrifes and I'm happy that during those dull moments, during those days that I was about to quit you were there to push me (ayan tuloy nahulog me tinulak mo kasi ako nasubsub nguso ko) to move on, to realize how beautiful life is.

Baby I love you more that words can say. I miss you when we're together how much more when we're apart. To live without you is not a beautiful life at all because you're the one that makes my life beautiful... Love you very much baby....

I want to tell you this. " I love you since I met you and thank you for being the person I love and be loved"

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Goodbye nickel....

From the very beginning, I'm always afraid of the word Goodbye, It scares me to think that someone will leave me alone. I don't wanna be alone! I don't want to relive the things i did in the past because what happend in the past was traumatized me. It really hurts when someone tells
you goodbye, its like its breaking my heart into pieces and its the horrible word for me.

But I realized that Goodbye is not always sad and painful one, sometime one has to say goodbye in order to let things happend well, that we have to accept the two persons are not really meant for each other not just in lovers but in friends also.

After our separate ways with my best friend Nickel, it took me years to think why he let this things happend that we have to stop communicating each other, that we have to forget things and leave memories as it is, that we have to forget each other. Damn... How can you forget someone who makes you smile, He is like a brother to me, more than that!

Can you imagine for how many years we've been together and in just a click of a hand I lost Him its because of He found some new friends, some bunch of idiot person.. sorry for the word idiot but i think thats the best word to describe them because they took nickel in my life, I'm just trying to figure out why he leave me, I just want to know the reason.. just one very good reason nickel...

Why nickel? Am I a person with AIdS? Am I a person with Horrible face? Does it has to do with the status of your family,I'm just a poor owen that i don't have a penny in my pocket and you are the rich guy in davao... We were good friends.. why... why... why nickel?

You know what... I want to say this to you that I'm angry with you! Are you ashamed of me? You're not aware of my thoughts, my needs.. How could you do this to me? I didn't do something wrong with you. and tell me that We're Through!!! that i don't even exist in you!

If you only knew I cried so many tears, that i can't sleep well, but those were the days nickel. and I thank you for making me a strong person.. I will never forget you.

I thank you for time you spent to me, you will always be a special part of me. I'm doing great now and I'm happy with my life. I wish you happiness, I miss you friend and I love you just as well...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

to my best friend.. (nickel)

Take my hand, come away with me
and i'll take you away from all this.
We will runaway together my friends
for there is nothing here to miss.
In this world where everything seems uncertain
i know what your are thinking.
I know your every urge.
The innocence I see in you will disappear As the day fade..
So look into my eyes
and see that everything will be alright.
when it rains, when you are down,
when its cold,
when it seems I'm not around,
just remember I love you...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

what makes you happy?...

I've talked to some of my friends chit-chat and asking about their life and everyone was excited to share their ups and downs. Some of them were too tired of being alone fighting against obstacle in life, but some were lucky enough to have someone beside during dull moments.

You know what.. Some people makes us happy by doing some special thing, but special someone makes us happy without doing a special thing. I realize that true happiness can only be felt if we're with a special someone. Even me I'm not happy with out my baby (mawala na ang lahat wag lng baby ko).

I remember my best friend when were having a quite time "I ask her; What makes you happy?" she paused and stared at me "she said; I don't know.. I'm not happy with my life, i don't believe that happiness exist in this world maybe in fairytale does". Simple question actually.. "What makes you happy" that needs a definite answer...

what makes you happy? tell me i need to know.. because the only thing that makes me happy is YOU. so please don't you ever leave me, keep visiting my blog.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

now that you're gone...

Lately, I've been working so hard for myself and realized that I'm just starting to miss someone again, anyway she's not in manila and i guess i should be feeling that way at all. we talked over the phone the other night and she sounded indifferent, I could not blame her, its my fault why we broke-up before. I'm upset

Damn.. I'm such a dork... I should not let her go.. I should not afraid. i miss you and i tell you i can feel it.. I'm afraid that i might be hurting myself I know i am, but there's nothing i can do, I wanna be loved. badly i need to be loved i'm upset, i miss you so much, If you're reading this, i just want yopu to know i miss you so much and i'm sorry for what i've done before that i was not strong enough to fight for our love.

Now that you're gone a part of you will never ever leave... our memories will always be a hopping whisper in my mind. I wish love and never ending happiness.. wherever you are...

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Love and Lust...

I can feel your hear beat fast, as i slowly hug you and caress you...
we're both silent, genlty falling from heaven like a soft feather,
Lick your neck and to your ear, to your nape and you sounded good
I feel that, and i like that, you turned me on...

slowly undress you, one by one with simple touch of your body
your lips is so soft, and our tonge tremble inside and its so good
you hold my back tight and you started to get off my shirt
unbotton my pants, and so you do...

Damn I' so hard and have to burst out my love
suck me off to your deepest needs and wants
and slowly penetrate you with my true love...

I don't want to close my eyes, afraid of losing you in my sight,
we move there and there, we keeps on rolling and rolling
until we reach to our purpose.
to release and burst the true meaning of love...

I love you, I'll never let you go...

Sunday, July 23, 2006


It was July 22, 2006... Just yesterday when my baby ask me to go out to have dinner outside, I was lazy to got up to take a bath because i'm really sleepy, But my baby force me so there's nothing I can do but do everything and i hurriedly went to the bathroom and then fixed myself.

In SM San Lazaro (we just live at back of it) the nearest place, we decided to eat at Kenny Rogers, after we took out orders ask "What's the occassion" My baby shouted at me "what gago ka ah" namura tuloy ako. My baby told me that its our 11th monthsary.. oh my goshhh I forgot damn.... So i ask sorry and i promise to make it up before sleeping (kikikikiki).

Then we wathced movie "White Lady". The movie was OK well i watched it because of pauleen Luna, damn she's beautiful... yummylicious!!! and There was this bucnh of idiot gurls in front of us (i think 7 gurls) very noisy, they keep on shouting as if their first time to watch in sm theater, i could not hold my temper, i shouted to them (Tang ina nyo ahh di ko maintindihan pinapanood nyo kung gusto nyo makipag chismisan ndi ito ang tamang lugar) then tumahimik sila and i heard somebody shouted Buti nga sa inyo mga gago.. hehehe sama ko...

Anyways... when we went home and fixed our self to go to bed my baby said " matutulog ka na ba" sabi ko naman ndi pa, sabi nya babawe ka pa dba? heheheheh
then uhhhhahhhhh.... hehehehe

Sarap mabuhay pag may minamahal at nag mamahal sayo....

Monday, July 17, 2006

True love... the most painful feelings....

Experiencing true love is one of the most Happiest thing a person can experience in life. No words can express how happy we are experiencing love. Sometimes you can do crazy things…Unusual things and sometimes…. Stupid things When you’re in love….

On the other side, although love can be the happiest Feeling one has ever felt, it can also be the most painful Experience a person may encounter. Breaking up or ending A relationship is one of the hardest things to do in life..

In life, unexpected things always happen and sometimes You can do nothing but to accept it even though it’s hard And painful, you have to move on with your life. even things are unforgetable, life must go on…To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, It only means that you allow that person to find his/her own happiness without expecting him/her to come back but in my case if given a chance i'll still to do it with my love because i still belive that love is sweeter the second times around….

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also Setting yourself free…Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash Away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you, (though its hard to let go of the past) Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that is may be the love that will stay&last. One thing I’ve learned about love and life is to cherish Every moment of it because you will never know what Will happen in the future. Who said life is fair anyway…. If only words and time can be turned back perhaps there Would be a big difference…

Saturday, July 15, 2006

sisterhood of the traveling pants....

Chantal Kreviazuk the one who performed this song and shes really great... She also has a version of Leaving on a Jetplane.

I love this song... Hope that anyone here is familiar with this song.

These days...

What's this life anyway What's it to you and me
What's it to anyone Who are we supposed to be
Make me a storybook Write me away from here I need a different now
Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow a smile
I'll get through tomorrow somehow today Happy after...
Once upon these days

There's four roads to anywhere
Four ways for everything We were unbreakable
We spoke our destiny Let's take a moment out
Go were we never go Let's make a new world now
Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow your smile
We'll get through tomorrow somehow today Happy after...
Once upon these days

Then one day we'll find When we're looking back on this time
Wondering how we've come so far from this
When we close our eyes What's this life anyway
What's it to you and me What are we doing here
Who are we supposed to be I'll take a better world
I'll take anything I'll take our little world now
Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow your smile
We'll get through tomorrow somehow today Happy after...
Once upon these days

I dunno if you guys watch or familiar with the movie "sisterhood of the traveling pants"
i really love this movie i keep on watching this over and over again. Its all about four girls stars Alexis Bledel as Lena, Amber Tamblyn as Tiby, Blake Lively as Bridget, and America Ferrera as carmen also star Jenna boyd as Bailey.

Guys try nyo watch maganda promise...

Friday, July 14, 2006

Letting go....

While walking along the bay (roxas blvd) having quite-time and searching something for myself, I saw a girl crying and she was really in big trouble I came to her and ask if she was OK she looked at me, with tears on her cheeks, I tried to wiped her tears but she suddenly she said "Why do people sometimes fall out of love" then she leave..

She made me think, goshh i remember what i've been through when i was studying in davao (nakkksss eto na naman ako huhuhuhu). God knows how i cried that night when the love of my life walked out to that door. I couldn't bare the thoughts of losing my love. I was really hurt, for the first time in my life that took me years to recover. Totoo pa lang "Too much love will kill you" good thing God never allow things to ruin my life.

I realized that very moment that part of loving someone is to let them go, let them spread their wings and soar into their brand new life. It's hard but i think its the only way to live life completely.

Love is always accompanied by pain, If the person fall out of love already, let go of him/her. Never fight for your love, what for? "anong ipaglalaban mo, isang pag-ibig na ikaw lang ang nakadama?" Remember that Love is sharing it should be felt by two person. Do not prolong your agony, it will suffer you a lot. You don't have to punish yourself, it will just ruin you.

Do not wait for the right person to come into your life, but be the right person to come into someone's life....

(wala lng naiisip ko lng magsulat ng pagpapalaya kasi minsan ito yong kelangan natin.)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Unconditional Love....

There was a time in my life when i'm afraid to fall in love.. because everytime i fell in love i got hurt maybe that's why its called "falling" in love.

I would give my all loving deeply and wholeheartedly, it would be truly emotional and euphoric experience. I will love you wider than the universe and powerful than the wind. My mind will never let go of you because i coudn't go of a day without thinking of you.

Then one day my world would crash down resentment, anger, disappointment and pain. Life will never be the same again. I couldn't have decent sleep at night, I can't even move myself in a simple cresendo.

There just might be a reason why they're always on my mind. its because sometimes the brains knows too well what the hearts tries so hard to deny.
It was then I realize that loving someone isn't just giving, isn't just having him/her around. it's all about believing in one's self, just love and love and everything will come back to you even more.


I was about to write something here, you know to update my blog and supposedly i'm going to share the things that had happend to me for a week, I just had moved from my new apartment and got a new job Medical Representative, and i used to listen upbeat song everytime i need a "lifting" of the mood but suddenly in my first paragraph of writing, the music in radio had switch swiftly into mellow and here they played "Just when I needed you most" and the version from Dolly Parton.. sh*ttt its my fave artist and here we go it reminds me of someone, back when i was in high school.

I used to sing this song accompanied by guitar (hahahaha as if i know how to play guitar...) well a little yah i know, but the problem is, i've already forgot this person but why everytime i heard those kind of songs it reminds me. Actually nothing is interesting about that person its just that we had an intimate friendship.. (take note of the word intimate) btw while writing and thingking of that person made smile and kilig hahahahah landi ko.

This person is sweet, caring and everytime we're together we always had a special time to visit church (naksss naman) yah grabe tong best friend ko na to i dont even hide a single secret everything was told and same thing with my friend.. hayyy sarap talaga mag reminisce ng old memories its really worth to keep and wish i could see my friend because its been 10 years already and i dont have any info about my friend..

hay naku miss ko na tuloy sya.... (bitin ba?)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Far and away

It's been a quite sometimes that i haven't seen my family, and i've been working hard here in manila for quite years hoping that one day i could have stable job and to have a career that i can boast whenever i'll go home. I am very ambitious and trying to get everything what i want in my life, living alone to prove to them that i am independent and i can manage my life. I've been selfish and endulge my self so much with money and turn out to be huge mistake and later on a big regret in my life.

Nothing i can say after all but a big sigh now i've been wanting to go home to be with my family but how? I already don't have enough money. Almost everynight i hug my pillow tight wishing to feel the presence of my family. I couldn't even stop my tears falling slowly. and i realize i coudn't bare to live with out them. I know its my fault, I just want to make a difference.

hayyyyy.... so much in pain...

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Loving and Losing

I knew last night was very different, and many of my fears have now shown their fruits. Ive seen them grow on me, and blossom one by one carefully, painfully. And its more than a bitter pill to swallow, when you realize that the one thing you fear, is now concretely real, making sadness even more vividly piercing. Imagine when the very person who shields you and supports you, who makes you look forward to every morning and every goodnight, who lends you strength and gives new meaning to every experience, who can make all painful steps a joy or make you wait a lifetime if only to see each other once again, who can make every moment a beautiful dream and every dream the death of harsh reality, that the very person who is one of your biggest reasons for living no longer loves you-- and especially knowing that not anyone, not even (and most of all) you, can ever save the heart that had stopped beating. (Not to mention that some people, who you once thought would understand you best, are just glad to see it all end.)

If this pain could only be heard, it could probably make the whole world deaf. And when it rings across all oceans, and every mountain, echoing for all time, to reach every heart that has loved and lost, they would understand me. If each pound of sadness would bring a tear, it will rain gloomily for days on end. But the world would take comfort in each drop of sincerity, and revel delicately to mirror my unbridled promise.

Once again, I had my heart got broken. And my soul has once again gone empty and blank. A clean slate to paint my life once again, but with a heart who remembers each drop of blood that I had shed for the one person who still holds great value in my life; in my hand a penny to take chances at wishing, and in the other a light of hope.

But now, I am not ready to risk my penny into the well, for I do not know what I would wish for. And I still cannot see hope, for I have closed my eyes trying to see the fading dreams once again. I still cannot fully accept that I have awaken to see this love end.

Monday, July 03, 2006

The existence of my being

I seek simple things in life; the stars and the night sky make me happy and I am awed by their silent violence...when I look up to the heavens while lying on the grass, I imagine myself falling into an abyss of infinite space and I am engulfed totally by the darkness...but when I am with someone I love while looking at the stars, I see something different, I feel different also...the stars suddenly begin to smile and they are in unison in wishing me happiness, they sing their songs to me and whisper good wishes for me and they send me hope...the darkness would no longer engulf but would rather embrace me, comfort me, sing lullabys to me and I am comforted in my heart, I become contented, I become happy, quietly jubilant...that's what a heart can do to me...a heart that beats for me and a heart who's main joy is to see me happy....the grass feels cool and becomes like a bed made of the softest feathers, the earth would no longer be dirty to lie upon, it would be soft and soothing and it too cradles me in its warmth...the night rejoices with me, the wind too and the heavens and of course the stars....oh how good it is to be in love!, to spend the quiet night with the one i love....but it's all so different when Im alone lying on the grass.......
Im very tired, really really tired of trying to find someone I can really trust...
There are only two things that are very powerful in the world, the Love and Death. Ive been waiting for them to come in my life, I dont know which one to come first, theres no reason to live after all if theres no Love, and I would rather to die if Love comes in my life. Death might lose its power but Love still remain Forever...

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Irony of Love

How i wish i could kiss you like you did to others, I'm not like him nor other person. But wishing to be like a person who i never wanted to be. My heart beating am to fears. My tears want to fall but not for my sorrow. My mind want to say goodbye but my eyes wont close and yet leave the word hello. My feet want to walk while my hair want to run. My nose want to leave a mark while my fingerstips unmark.

Fall the truth and hug the lie pretend like a priest and believe like a saint. Worship the evil and marry with the angels, swim in the fire and feel the cold water flows in your vein. Listen to silent and die into peace. Fly to the land and climb the sky. Twit like a bee and buzz, like a bird live the sky but don't ever leave the trees.

Feel the wind on the outerspace and live with planets. Say ytou hi to the blackhole within and learnedthe fatal truth and yet pain is in love while happiness is waiting to be not be love.

Monday, June 19, 2006

My Best Friend....

Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, there lived a fourth grader boy who would follow this route to school everyday: He has to cross the rugged
plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are recklessly driving to and from.

Once past this highway, the boy would take a short cut, passing by the Church every morning just to say Hi to God, and faithfully say his, "Magandang umaga po" in Bicol dialect. He was faithfully being watched by a Priest who was happy to find innocence so uplifting in the

"Kamusta, Andoy? Papasok ka na?"

"Opo padre ... "he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to Andoy.

"From school...", he advised "Do not cross the highway, you can pass through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of the
road...that way I can see that you are home safe...."

"Thank you father ... "
"Why don't you go home ... why do you stay in
this church right after school?"

"I just want to say 'Hi' to my friend, God," and the priest would leave the boy to spend time beside the altar, talking to himself, but the priest was hiding behind the altar to listen to what this boy has to say to his heavenly FATHER.

"You know my math exam was pretty bad today, but I did not cheat although my seatmate is bullying me for notes... I ate one cracker and drank my water, Itay had a bad season and all I can eat is this cracker.

Thank you for this! I saw a poor kitten who was hungry and I know how he feels so I gave my last cracker to him ... funny but I am not that hungry.
Look, this is my last pair of slippers ...I may have to walk barefoot next week, you see this is about to be
broken... but it is least I am
still going to school.... Some say we will have a hard season this month, some of my classmates have already stopped going to school .... please help them get to school again, please God?

...Oh, you know, Inay hit me again, it is painful, but I know this pain will pass away, at least I still have a mother.... God, you want to see my
bruises? I know you can heal them.... Here... here and .... oh ...blood ...I guess you knew about this one huh? Please don't be mad at Inay, she is
just tired and she worries for the food in our table and my schooling that is why she hits us....Oh, I think I am in love ... there's this pretty girl in my class, her name is Anita ... do you think she will like me? Anyway, at least I know you will always like me, I don't have to be anybody just to please you, you are my very best friend! Hey your birthday is two days from now!!! Aren't you
excited? I am! Wait till you see, I have a gift for you ..... but it is a surprise! I hope you will like it! Oooops, I have to go ..." then he stood up and calls out, "Padre, padre, I am finished talking to my friend .... youcan accompany me to the other side of the road now"

This routine happens everyday. Andoy never fails. Father Agaton shares this every Sunday to the people in his church because he has not seen a very pure faith and trust in God, a very positive look at negative situations.

One Christmas day, Father Agaton was sick so he could not make it in the Church, he was sent to the h
ospital. The Church was left to 4 manangs who would chant the rosary in 1000 miles per hour, would not smile and would always find fault in what you do, they were also very well versed in cursing if you irritate them! They were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary when Andoy, coming from his Christmas party,playfully dashed in.

"Hello God! I ......"

"P----!! (a curse) bata ka!! Alam mo nang may nagdadasal!! Alis!!"

Poor Andoy was so terrified, "Where's Father Agaton? He is supposed to help me cross the street ... and to be able to cross the street I will
have to pass by the back door of this church ...not only that, I have to greet Jesus. It is His birthday, I have a gift right here.... " Just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, the manang pulled
his shirt and threw him out of the church. "Susmaryosep!!! (does the sign of the cross fervently) Alis kang bata ka, kung hindi matatamaan ka!!!

So the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the road in front of the church. He crossed. A fast moving bus came in.

There was a blind curve. The boy was protecting his gift inside his shirt, so he was not looking. There was so little time. Andoy died on the spot. A lot of people crowded the poor boy, the body of a lifeless you
ng boy ...

Suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man in a pure white shirt and pants, a face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full of tears... He came and carried
the boy in His arms. He was crying. Curious bystanders nudged the man in white, and asked,

"Excuse me sir, are you related to this child?

Do you know this child?"

The man in white, His face mourning and in agony, looked up and answered,

"He was my best friend .... " was all he said. He took the badly wrapped gift in the bloody chest of the lifeless boy, and placed it near His heart.

He stood up and carried the boy away and they both disappeared in sight.

The crowd was curious ...

On Christmas Eve, Father Agaton learned of the shocking news. He visited the house, and wanted to verify about the man in white. He consulted the
parents of Andoy.

"How did you know that your son died?"

"A man in white brought him here." sobbed the mother. "What did he say?" The father
answered, "He did not say anything. He was mourning. We do not know him and yet he was very lonely about our son's death, as if he knew our son very well. But there was something peaceful and unexplainable about him. He gave me my son, and then he smiled peacefully. He brushed my son's hair away from his face and kissed him on his forehead, then he whispered something..."

"What did he say?"

"He said to my boy..." the father began, "Thank you for the gift ... I will see you soon ... you will be with me..." and the father of the boy continued, "and you know for a while, it felt so wonderful ... I cried,
but I do not know why....all I know is I
cried tears of joy .... I could not explain it, Father, but when that man left, something peaceful came over me, I felt a deep sense

of love inside ... I could not explain the joy in my heart, I knew my boy is in heaven now but...tell me, Father, who is this man that my son talks to everyday in your church, you should know because you are always there ... except at the time of his death ......"Father Agaton suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with

trembling knees, he murmurred, " ... He was talking to no one ..... but .. GOD...."

Monday, May 15, 2006

Everything happens for a reason

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people, maybe (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend,chatmate, lover, or a total stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound ways. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection, you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potentials, strength, willpower or heart.Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens for a chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity, all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly-paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experience can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betray you, or break your heart, forgive them, for they helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart and eyes to things.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you can possibly can, for you may never experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked before, and actually listens. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your heads ups, because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly, if you love someone, tell him or her, for you may never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day that you live. Today is tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Was it worth it.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Someone loves you....

Yes, someone loves us! Even if we are poor or have no money. Even if we are not pleasant or attractive. Even if we are not handsome or pretty. Even if we are not worthy of other people's attention.

Unlike most people, perhaps including our own relatives and friends. We may sometimes get hurt because some of them may be there only when we have money. Only when they could get something of benefits from us.

Sad ins't it? Yet it is sometimes true.

But God isn't like that! The bible says that, although we are sinners and enemies of God, He still love us. "But Gos demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom.5:8)

Yes, God loves you! That is why He gave Jesus Christ for you. And if you have lots of problems, or if you feel there is something missing in in your life, or if you are not sure of going to heaven, you need Jesus Christ who died for us/you.

So you can full experience God's love for you, you must:

1. Repent of your sins
2. Trust Jesus Christ as your personal savior
3. Surrender your life to Him as your Lord and King.

Life isn't over yet, Do it now, for we only have one life.

Live your life to the fullest.
Live well... Lough Often... Life is Good.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

the manager

I woke up today I realized the very moment I step in the company doorsteps that life will be bad. Only now too late to realized it was hell. I found a better job anyway, sweeping the street off the scum’s of the earth.
It is better than kissing asses here.

Some of my district mangers are the most substanceless, nearly useless life forms I've encountered in my whole life. The work ethics are bias, the office is warm as in global warming-maximized, there is no fair around when you need it, and then every time I close my eyes they’re haunting me like a ghost performing New York, New York.

I wish you luck and I think it is luck what this company needed, cause and pagan ritual won't help anymore.

Warmest regards and a smile in my face.

Man of Honor

Is doing a lot of good things to everyone is the measurement of integrity? What if you’ve done something wrong? Can you still say that you are “Man of Honor” Can one mistake cover-up all your good deeds?

How would you feel if somebody accused you of something you’d never done for the rest of your life? Let me tell you this, those people who turned you down are insecure. They are the worst human God has ever made. They were just simply nothing but a coward to fight the real battle of life. Its not actually new, you’ve been working too hard and then one day “move out!” you don’t even know the reason why this things happened.

The truth is hard to find. Things happened, as you don’t expect it will.
You have to be ready from the twist and turns of life.

Love in my Heart

Sometimes Love is so Unfair... The more you SACRIFICE, the more you get HURT and when you feel you have given your BEST, still not ENOUGH until such time you had no choice but to GIVE UP... A KISS is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become unnecessary. Juz be sure that those lips will only kiss the person whom you truly LOVE and CARE about... Be CAREFUL to whom you give your HEART to coz when you give your HEART to someone, you are not only giving that person the right to LOVE you, but the power to HURT you... Let LOVE be the guide to your DREAMS. Let LOVE be the light to your HEART and let your LOVE be the reason for someone elses HEART still continue to BEAT... LOVING is not about HUGGING someone, not about KISSING their LIPS or HOLDING their HANDS but about PLACING them and KEEPING them in your THOUGHTS and in your HEART...

Is it love?

I made this page to tell you guys how serious i am when it comes to love its just that i can't stop thinking of my baby, I really feel great everytime when we're together though sometimes we find ourselves always shouting and kicking. But you know what, i tell you i never thought love struck me that way, i never imagine life will give me such happiness and things like this it would be truly euphoric experience. I may not fully grasp each situation or the real meaning of Love but all i know life is nothing without my baby, because you are my life.

Im sure you are familiar with this lines "and i always need you, and if you ever change your mind I'll still I will love you" what a beautiful line, isn't it? how would you feel if the person you are with right now is the person that makes your world go round, that gives meaning to every smile you give to the people around you.

Tell me, Is it Love?

I'll be your matter what...

In Life, it doesn't matter who you are, but whether someone appreciates you for what you are, accepts you and loves you unconditionally. A Real Friend (Friendship) is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks away. Friendship is more than just hanging out together at lunch and gossiping about other people. True friendship is when two people have mutual respect for one another, and really care about the each others feelings and dreams. You need to be able to be honest with your friends. If there is ever a time where you feel that you can¡¯t tell them the truth, for fear that they will be mad or won¡¯t understand, then, they aren¡¯t true friends. Friends share with each other important things that they wouldn¡¯t share with others. Friends also care about each other, stick up for one another and enjoy.

Are you really in-love?

Are You In Love?Are you proud because you’ve got the cutest guy in school and you’re eager to show him off to the crowd?It isn’t love. It’s LUCK…You can’t avoid your eyes off to him, am I right?It isn’t love. It’s ATTRACTION…Does your heart belong to him because he makes it skip a beat?It isn’t love. It’s INFATUATION…Do you want him coz you know he is there for you or is he there?It isn’t love. It’s LONELINESS…Do you stay for his confession coz you don’t want him to be hurt?It isn’t love, it’s PITY…Are you there for him because you want him?It isn’t love, it’s LOYALTY…Do you pardon his faults coz you care about him?It isn’t love, it’s FRIENDSHIP…Do you stick to him coz he had kissed you?It isn’t love, it’s FEAR…Are you willing to give up everything? All your favorite things for his sake?It isn’t love, it’s CHARITY…Do you cry for the pain even if you’re strong enough?It isn’t love, it’s UNFAIRNESS…Does your heart ache when you’re sad; is he there to hold you close?It isn’t love, it’s INJUSTICE….You may be attracted to others but you remain faithful to him without regret.Would you give your heart, soul and mind?Would you rather die for him?

Excerpts from the Book "A walk to remember"

Did you see the movie a walk to remember? are some few of the heart-warming lines in the book “A Walk to Remember”…

“It wasn’t that long, and it certainly wasn’t the kind of kiss you in see movies these days, but it was wonderful in its own way
and all I can remember about the moment is that when our lips first touched, I knew the memory would last forever.” landon carter

You know when it’s love when all you want to do is spend time with the other person, and you sort of know that the other person feels the same way.” -Landon Carter“

We kissed again, too, though not every time we were together, and I didn’t even think trying to make it to second base. There wasn’t any need to. There was something nice when I kissed her, something gentle and right, and that was enough for me. The more I did it, the more I realized that Jamie had been misunderstood her entire life, not only by me, but by everyone.” –Landon Carter

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”
“Jamie was more than just the woman I loved. In that year, Jamie helped me become the man I am today. With her steady hand she showed me how important, it was to help others; with her patience and kindness, she showed me what life is really all about. Her cheerfulness and optimism, even in times of sickness, was the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed.” –Landon Carter

ARE YOU BITIN? YOU BETTER READ THE BOOK...once you read the book...u'll know wat really is true love...and the words that landon carter said to jamie in the book makes you sigh...that's all i got to say.....cheer y'all...